The Perilous Inquirer V1,22
Thanksgiving Issue
November 28, 2013

GARGOYLES NOT IN SEASON
The King’s spokesperson warns hunters against bagging gargoyles in this season’s turkey hunts. Using visual aids, Lord Lackey enumerated numerous differences between gargoyles and the common turkey. “Wings is a problem,” he pointed out. “I can see the occasional gargoyle being killed & eaten by mistake. Hopefully, fewer this year than last now that you all have been warned.”

WHY THAT NAME?
– by RueTor
York: It’s not a very interesting story; I wanted my character to blend in with non-player characters. I went into a town and seen an NPC named York. It was truly random and extremely effective so much so, that I am frequently thought of as new. York is 8 years old.
Czarina: I was at a antique book store sometime in late 1997. I found a translated russian novel to english there that the cover caught my eye. The book only cost a quarter so i went ahead and bought it. It was a great story about a russian wife referred to as a Czarina. When i logged into ultima online that night I made a new character with that name due to i thought it sounded pretty. It also looked good above her head so i kept it. I also never seen another Czarina so i was glad i found a unique name.
Kattasrophe: I choose this name because one day I was messing around with one of my friend’s at a neighbor’s house and put a dent into his wall. Ever since that day he has called me Kattasrophe. Due to a part of what everyone calls me.

GARGOYLE HUNTING
Tips & Tactics
Recognizing the Dominant Gargoyle means a bigger Thanksgiving Feast for the whole family to enjoy. He can often be identified by the way he acts. When watching a small group of gargoyles in the spring as they approach a hen or come to your calling, look for the longbeard that does all or most of the strutting. He will be the dominant garg nearly every time.

THE KINDNESS PROJECT
– by Kattasrophe age 12
Everyone sees the ranting in chat where people fight and trash talk. Which is all fine & dandy, but I feel sometimes people take it way too far. This week I would like to present a project to you all. If everyone says kind things for a week then perhaps we can start a kindness chain reaction.
Some wonder why the Siege population is so low. It’s because so many are bullies. If we invite new players & show them our good side, we could have wonderful new players here in no time!
Of course there will always be trash talking and fighting, but hey! We can always make it a better day. You can hate me for what I say or you can love me. But I will never change.

GARGOYLE LEFTOVERS RECIPE
Gargoyle Pot Pie
Preheat Elven oven to 350 degrees F.
Melt butter in saucepan and cook chopped onion until tender. Stir in celery and carrots and cook for 2 minutes. Stir in flour and cook for 2 minutes. Add gargoyle stock and bring to a simmer. Add potatoes and simmer until tender. Stir in gargoyle chunks, parsley and peas. Pour mixture into casserole. Top with pie crust and brush with egg. Bake for 30 minutes until crust is golden.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 22nd Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.” Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Onomatologist: Rue Tor
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-thanksgiving-issue.308036/

The Perilous Inquirer
21st Issue
November 22, 2013
Contributors: AtlanticVlad, RueTor, Lupe, Fartbarf, Ariana RiverWind, Strawberry, York_Siege, Kattasrophe, Luca Melehan

RECOMMENDS HAVING SIEGE PUT DOWN
Claiming that it is the humane thing to do, and that the shard is “just going to suffer” if kept alive any longer, members of the Save Siege Committee recommended today that Siege be put down.
“We realize this isn’t the easiest thing to hear, but we’ve run a number of tests and unfortunately there’s really nothing more we can do for Siege at this point,” the committee reported.
“Siege is in a lot of pain, folks,” according to committee chairman AtlanticVlad. “Time to think about sending it off peacefully, for its own sake.”
The committee also made several heartfelt assurances that the procedure would be quick and virtually painless.
(w/apologies to theonion.com)

WHY THAT NAME?
– by RueTor

Lupe: “Was my name in spanish class in middle school.  It is a shortened version of Guadalupe, which translates roughly to Wolf-River, and the Lupe part is the wolf part, denoting her taming profession.”
Fartbarf: “I was driving through downtown LA about 10 years ago admiring the creative graffiti. As I was passing under some train tracks, I looked up and saw in big block letters “FARTBARF.” It made me laugh then, and it makes me laugh now.”
Ariana RiverWind: My Father and Mother picked this name for me. You see Anna was my grandmothers name, they wanted to have me to be a namesake, However I wish I was more like Gran, she was the best baker of RiverWind. (I know a lot of people think that this character is named from a certain set of books, but honestly I just came up with it on a whim and said oooo I likes it.)

EVENTS
Chicken Fights: anyone interested should reply to Strawberry’s post on the stratics forum, “Battle Chicken Fights.”
Siege Ambassador: encourage players on other shards to give Siege a try. For some ideas on how, see York_Siege’s post on the stratics forum, “Honestly – Why is Siege Perilous the Best?”

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be one of the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“Where, in our lands, is Gwenno’s  Memorial?”

KATT’s THANKSGIVING
UO Thanksgiving has arrived, will I be able to survive?
A turkey in the oven, friends are stuffin’
Their mouths with wonderful treats.
There are knocking beats at the door; it is a red that wants fed
Should I run or should I stay?
I say “one moment,” and throw a pie at him,
And then I hide!

LUCA LIQUORS
Say “booze” to our Booze Steward & give thanks Luca Melehan for contributing to our Fall assortment of named liquors.

The Perilous Inquirer V1,21
Vol. 1, Twentieth Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Booze Steward stocked this week by Luca Melehan.
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/forums/uo-siege-perilous.60/create-thread

~sine die~

The Perilous Inquirer
20th Anniversary Issue!
November 15, 2013
Contributors: The Siege Spy, Hoffs, RueTor, Wolfman, Norman Bates, Luka Melehan, Kattasrophe

THE SCAMMING THIEF
I was stealthing along in Luna one Monday when something caught my attention. It was a person named Tien Kaelus and another one named Kattasrophe. They were in Luna bank and seemed to be having a fight. I watched quietly. I finally understood that Tien had stolen a power scroll from poor Shadowen and Kattasrophe was there to get his scroll back. Tien simply asked for his money first to put into his bank box, before giving Kattasrophe the scroll.
She refused and they argued for over 30 minutes. Finally, he could stand it no longer and left the bank. The argument continued in chat, him versus Kattasrophe.
As I also learned, Tien Kaelus scammed Edward Teach out of 12 mil that Sunday.
As for I, I am a spy – The Siege Spy
[Editor: In fairness, we contacted Tien Kaelus who denied it was a scam but failed to provide any other explanation.]

ELWOOD MCCARRIN SICK AND TIRED OF OCLLO
Citing a  problem with “The walking dead” NPCs, “Stinking up the docks,” The Well-Known Collector has requested a transfer away from The Albatross tavern. “God told me to hang out in Luna,” the old quest giver explained, “I have to get new players drunk & send them out to reform PKers.” The King’s Council, known colloquially as the counsels of the small & the silly, has yet to act on Elwood’s request.

BEAUTY PAGEANT
– Hoffs
The annual Miss Siege beauty pageant will be taking place at the end of the month where we’ll once again find out who the most desirable lady on the shard is. Those who enter will be assessed in four different areas and she who finishes with the highest score will be crowned Miss Siege 2013. As always, we are using independent judges from off-shard to perform the assessments, and this year we have some senior members of the Stratics news agency as well as Sosaria’s most famous cook. They will be using a split of 2d and EC clients.
For de’tails see the “Miss Siege 2013 – Sign-up thread” on the Siege Stratics forums.

WHY THAT NAME?
– by RueTor
Wolfman: All other Shards my fighters/Dexers had the name Morgan Ironwolf (from the red D&D-Box as a suggested name). When I came to Siege I wanted a clean start and lose all ties to my real name (Wolf, true and given name) so I thought about with what I should replace the “wolf” part of my name and came up with the Ironfist….
Norman Bates: “I was named after my M-M-Mother…NORMA…Norma Bates.”
Luka Melehan: Luka and her sister Rowena are from a text based fantasy RP I did online years ago. There I primarily played Rowena, who was a warrior. In the RP, Luka was still a teen that Rowena was raising on her own, and she used to dress Luka as a boy to protect her from bandits. Rowena never made it to SP because I was told that there was another Rowena who didn’t play anymore, and while it was a different person it would undoubtedly cause problems.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our front steps & speak the answer to this question:
What was the character name of UO’s original Lead Designer?
This week’s prize will pop into your backpack.

The Perilous Inquirer V1,20
Vol. 1, Twentieth Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-twentieth-issue.307531/

DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH
– by Kattasrophe, age 12

This month is Diabetes Awareness Month. I, Kattasrophe, have diabetes and would like to raise awareness!
 So on the 14th, there is going to be a Diabetes Awareness Carnival. With Games, Prizes, Booze and more!
Come learn about diabetes and the signs that lead to it. All while having fun!
For details, ask me on chat within the next week.

For more information on Diabetes Awareness Month, please visit the American Diabetes Association:
http://www.diabetes.org/in-my-community/programs/american-diabetes-month/

Join the Siege Perilous discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/diabetes-awareness-month.307311/

The Perilous Inquirer
November 8, 2013
Contributors: Lupe, Kattasrophe, RueTor, Hoffs, Sprago, Victim Of Siege, Tang, Otero

KING ATTENDS MOONGLOW FESTIVAL
Doesn’t smell “Too Bad”   – by Lupe
Friday evening was filled with laughter and merriment as the citizens of Siege Perilous unwound at Moonglow’s Harvest Festival. Spirits were flowing freely when the game of Musical Chairs began.
My good friend Talia told me, “As soon as I was done decorating, I got wicked pissed! I was watching the festivities, when I heard all this fuss. I turned around, and there he was, King Blackthorn himself.”
Talia tells me, it was all she could do not to stare. “Nothin was fallin off him, like fingers or anything, and for a Frenchman/Zombie, his smell was not too bad. Still… he just LOOKS different”

DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH
This month is Diabetes Awareness Month. I, Kattasrophe, have diabetes and would like to raise awareness! So on the 14th, there is going to be a Diabetes Awareness Carnival. With Games, Prizes, Booze and more! Come learn about diabetes and the signs that lead to it. All while having fun! For details, ask within the next week.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our front steps & speak the answer to this question:
The Ultima original tune, “Stones,” was written by the wife of one of Ultima’s original programmers. What was her name?
This week’s prize will pop into your backpack.

WHY THAT NAME?   – by RueTor
Hoffs: “Named and styled after my muse, Susanna Hoffs, singer/guitarist/songwriter in 80s group The Bangles.”
Sprago: “Its nothing special just a shortened version of my last name got it during high school.”
Victim of Siege: “The first character I made on Siege was Possum (George Jones fan) and he kept getting ganked whenever he stepped out of town. I was creating a character for the other account and I thought to myself, ‘Self, if you are going to be a victim ….'”

GUILD SPOTLIGHT
Perhaps the oldest PvP guild, Killing As Organized Sport [KAOS] originated as far back as AOL’s Neverwinter Knights in 1993. This was before games were played over the Internet.
KAOS gained widespread noteriety for posting PKs at the AOL game’s login-in points, indiscriminately killing players as they logged in. The members were thought to be professionals in real life, like the infamous MERCS, who took pleasure griefing gamers in the earliest days of UO until they were permanently banned.
– Otero

LETTERS
“Happy Birthday, November 8th to our illustrious *cough* and diligent publisher, DeadBob. Great job! Hope you have a great day with plenty of cake and Hagen Daaz!”
– Tang

The Perilous Inquirer V1,19
Vol. 1, Nineteenth Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward;
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-nineteenth-issue.307308/

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Eighteenth Issue
November 1, 2013

BLACKTHORN SIGNS PET MARRIAGE BILL
Citing opportunities bestowed by redefining traditions, Lord King Blackthorn legalized marriage between players and their pets yesterday in a ceremony attended by his beloved swampy, “Lapdancer from Hell.”
“Lord knows it’s about time,” the Lord said.

WHY THAT NAME?   – by RueTor
Bo: “Bo was picked out by my bother when we were in college playing uo in the late 90s. He had some Chinese classes and he picked Bo for two reasons. Bo is a Chinese title translated as “Count” or “The Count.” It also is a nearly extinct minority population in Southern China famous for hanging coffins of the dead. Since I came to siege about 8 years ago I assumed the character and decided to make the character “The Count” (aka red). I decided to put my own twist on it, by only talking in the third person. It worked out well since Bo Jackson was famous for saying Bo knows.”
Hugibear: “Hugibear was created at the same time in the late 90s. I have always been a huge fan of old cars and there is none finer than a 1976 Limited edition Ford Gran Torino. I thought Starsky & Hutch were boring names and i really didnt want to be a cop in game. So I thought of the most interesting character on that show, Huggy Bear who was a pimp that was always willing to help. I shortened the name to Hugibear, i dont know why, maybe it is because I am a horrible speller. who knows?”

OVERHEARD IN LUNA
Ariana~Riverwind: “You paid 20 mil for that dye tub?!!”
Pendragon: “It’s guaranteed for 600 years. I got it in writing.”

And The WINNING LIMERICKS Are….
Norman Bates First Place Limerick
Thar once were a pirate named KEYES…
‘ew terrorized the High Seas…
’til the day he got caught,
bein’ hung was his lot
An they leff him ter twist inna breeze :]

Delilah The Mad Second Place Limerick
Knew a seafaring lass named Rouxx
She found herself quite a nice crew
But they thought her a fool
Her acts misconstrued
Alas how I miss that sweet Rouxx

Gregette Third Place Limerick
On Siege, mean nasty pirates inhabit Arrr
They sail the seas near and far
From sea farers they extract booty
Which is pilfered by Liandra the cutie
Making the pirates shout -Arrr!

Tang Fourth Place Limerick
There was a young pirate named Parium,
Who escaped from the Siege Sanitarium,
When confronted with capture,
He exclaimed in rapture,
“Cogito Ergo Pirateum!”

Join the discussion at: http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/and-the-winning-limericks-are.306820/

LETTERS
Thank you Arrr for the great Limerick Event. I had fun writing and rhyming. The participation was great and the competition stiff.
The prizes were terrific especially for a newcomer to Siege Perilous and exactly the items I needed!
– Tang

ARIANA RIVERWIND
Can’t find that special gift for that special someone?
Seek out Bert, Ariana Riverwind’s worker. He is located in the inner North-West corner, which is inside guard zone of Luna.

SIEGE ESTATE RUNEBOOKS
Where would you like to go? Siege Estate Runebooks will take you there.
Shop at player vendors, NPC vendors; visit towns & cities & libraries across the land, play at the Hub Pub, check out the Radio Station or roll the dice at the Dead Horse Saloon.
You can go anywhere with Siege Estates Runebooks. Look for them at your favorite vendors or tell Grimlex to get off his duff & make more.

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Contributor: RueTor
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-eighteenth-issue.307056/

And The WINNING LIMERICKS Are….

Norman Bates
First Place Limerick
 Thar once were a pirate named KEYES…
‘ew terrorized the High Seas…
’til the day he got caught,
bein’ hung was his lot
An they leff him ter twist inna breeze :]

Delilah The Mad
Second Place Limerick
 Knew a seafaring lass named Rouxx
She found herself quite a nice crew
But they thought her a fool
Her acts misconstrued
Alas how I miss that sweet Rouxx

Gregette
Third Place Limerick
On Siege, mean nasty pirates inhabit Arrr
They sail the seas near and far
From sea farers they extract booty
Which is pilfered by Liandra the cutie
Making the pirates shout -Arrr!

Tang
Fourth Place Limerick
There was a young pirate named Parium,
Who escaped from the Siege Sanitarium,
When confronted with capture,
He exclamed in rapture,
“Cogito Ergo Pirateum!”

Hearty thanks to the members of The United Pirates of Catskills who crossed to our shard and served as impartial judges:
Trinsac, Guild Captain
Blind Tom, Captain’s Hand
Margaret, Lovely Arse-Kicking Wench
Mikie – Member Who Can Read
They all spent hours into the late night judging dozens of limericks.
Note that if you disagree with their choices, they were not unanimous themselves. But after much rum was swilled and some blood was spilled, they made their decisions final.
We like ’em and would definitely like to see some of these role playing marvels join us here on Siege.

DJ Def of UOradio.com did a marvelous job announcing the winners Saturday night. UOradio set a record for the number of listeners as the good DJ played music requested by the players who listened in for the news. Chat was abuzz with wishes of good luck between those who had entered a limerick. DJ Def staggered the news and with each announcement the winner was good naturedly congratulated by the others.

The Pirates Of Arrr and Yarrr have given us two events recently that were hallmarked by the humor and the good nature of the participants. The Limerick Contest and last Saturday’s Pirate Chase gave Siege citizens the opportunity to have fun whether they directly participated in the events or followed the participants in Chat.
These events attracted more players than we normally see involved in Siege life.
The Pirates are successfully increasing player participation in events.

Thanks again! to Parium the Black for most of the Limerick Contest’s fabulous prizes  & to Captain Sureno and Liandra the Cutie for the Pirate Chase.

Famine donated some of the incredible variety of prizes totaling many millions in value. He did this because, “This game has given me so much. I want to give some back.” Famine’s museum on the north side of Zento will open soon. The museum’s purpose is to preserve some of the rarer UO artifacts. When y’go, tell Famine “Thanks.” UO is a richer experience because of Famine.

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/and-the-winning-limericks-are.306820/

The Perilous Inquirer
Seventeenth Issue
October 25, 2013

LIMERICK CONTEST WINNERS
have been chosen and will be announced  This Saturday evening, October 26th!

WHY THAT NAME?
– by RueTor
Ladra: “Ladra is an Italian word literally meaning “female thief.” And I thought it sounded like a good name. Short enough? ^^” Captain Sureno: “Ahoy!! Well i was to be a pirate, and of course i wasnt just going to be Sureno. So it became Captain Sureno. And the history behind the name Sureno is Spanish for Southerner. No other meaning then im from the southwest where Sureno is common.”
Kelmo: “Kelmo came to be my nick name at work almost 2 decades ago. It was during the Tickle Me Elmo craze. A “friendly” waitress at the restaurant I worked at discovered I was very ticklish. My name is Kelly, so Kelly + Elmo became Kelmo. It has stuck with since the mid 90’s.”
Grimlex: “I don’t remember. When I first started, I fought a lot of battles without a helmet.”

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?
– Kattasrophe, age 12
Attacks on the cities! What’s next?
Many have been out this week fighting off the horrible monsters and their captains. Many have died, causing an increased population of skeletons in the graveyards. Now, along with the battles in the cities, the undead has come out more than ever.
What must happen in order to slay all these monsters? The answer is we need more groups out fighting! And as for the problem with the undead, Less Dying!  Many have fought bravely and died.
We thank all who made the ultimate sacrifice. Let’s hope when the next paper comes out, we won’t have these reports.

OVERHEARD IN CHAT
“ha ha my cat just fell off the window into my bowl of cereal.”
– Czarina

NEW LIBRARY
Books Wanted for the players’ library Dann the Leper is building in Bartertown.
It’s a small tower, open to the public, just north of Minoc & just east of Ladra’s cabin.
Please drop donated books into the drop box.

DON’T WORRY
– Kattasrophe
Don’t worry your pretty little mind,
Think about happiness and sunshine.
Never give up, you just gotta try again.
Think about your favorite time.
I know the stakes can be high, but it will never be the end.

SIEGE ESTATES  NEW TAILOR SHOPS
Runebooks for shopping. Full runebooks of Tailor shops, player vendors and other resourceful locations. See our vendor at the Perilous Inquirer.

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.  Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Contributor: RueTor
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-seventeenth-issue.306754

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Sixteenth Issue
October 18, 2013

ORIGINS
Norman Bates crossed the Gallowine River into Sosaria disguised as an itinerate graverobber during the DOS Age. Dropping his heavy accent & old surname (Batesky) like a hot grenade, he set up toll booths on the highways, accosted the King’s Messengers and sent the Royal Family threatening & suggestive letters.

Lady Bingo!, handmaiden to the Princess Gladwrap, found the Princess’ collection of Norman’s more suggestive letters and became intrigued by his “fevered delusions” as she coyly opined. Being of helpful heart, Lady Bingo! set out one morning with Lord Protector Sir GaggingLance to save Norman’s immortal soul and to bring his body into civilized society. They found him under a nearby bridge toll booth singing lurid elf songs with guffawing trolls.

The good Lady prevailed upon Norman to accept a full pardon and jobs as Motel Keepers for he and his mother, at a salary highway men can only dream of, in exchange for which he reluctantly gave up his sordid outlaw ways.
Under the good Lady Bingo!’s guidance, Norman done good.

Tragic news came on a dark and stormy night when Norman reported Lady Bingo! had, “Disappeared in a shower.” Norman developed a stutter, became reclusive and today is seen only on rare occasions. Sometimes, he appears in a window of the Bates Motel with his wheel chair bound mother. If you wave, she will, with Norman’s assistance, wave back.

ONCE UPON A TIME
when Ultima was being created, Richard Garriott had a programmer who snuck Disney characters into the art work. When Garriott found out, he ordered them removed.
The programmer left one in though and you can today, in the caverns below Bucs Den, see Mickey Mouse giving the finger. (DeadBob has a rune to this spot, if you wish to see it for yourself.)

REMEMBERING FRIENDS
There is a Hall Of Players on Atlantic with exhibits naming over 350 UO players. The exhibits were donated to the Hall by the players themselves or by their friends. The roof is reserved for previous UO players, now deceased.
Visit the Atlantic Hall Of Players on the South Road out of Luna across from the Brigand Camp at 41N,24W.
Check it out.
Is anyone up for establishing a Hall Of Players on Siege Perilous?

TRIVIA
The original UO tune, “Stones,” was written by the wife of one of Ultima’s programmers.
What was her name and where in our lands is her Memorial?
<drop your answer in our mailbox>

TREASURE HUNT
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Monthly Treasure Hunt is this Saturday at 3:PM EST.  The coordinates of the Treasure Box will be revealed on general chat.
Up for grabs this time is a pair of Kelp Leggings. I will give you the coordinates of the box, but what facet it is on is up to you to figure out.
First one to the spot gets the prize, which will be in a blue wooden box placed at the spot.
– Ilexia of Waterfalls Bridge Shop

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
| Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

Join the discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-sixteenth-issue.306424/

~sine die~

PIRATE CHASE!

Oct 19th, Saturday Morning until ??

Rescue the fair lass Liandra from the clutches of the inept KAOS Pirate, Otero!
The Pirates of Arrr have offered a reward to anyone who scuttles Otero’s ship on the High Seas and rescues their Liandra.
Listen on general chat as Liandra tells you, as best she can, where she is.

AHOY MATIES!
Tavern gossip has it that Otero plans to take his captive out for a bit of fresh sea air & a rant this Saturday morning, October 19th.
However, as that senile & drooling old tavern regular, Haf Gangree, puts it, “Otero is a landlubber! The boy doesn’t know his hold from an outhouse.”
“He’s an odd one, all right,” agreed Poop of Blackwater. “He was in here the other night blurting out nonsense like, ‘Cogito ergo Pirateum.'”
“Aye,” chimed in Perilous Pauli, a b-girl known to roll a troll faster than you can say Rumpelstiltskin. “Otero’ll be lucky if Liandra doesn’t kill him.”

S.O.L. (Save Our Liandra)
Join the Chase!
Every seaworthy vessel is needed to track down Otero’s ship! Look for a badly painted Orc ship named, “This Side Up.”
You can fight him yourself or scream for help. The pirates of Arrr will come to help save their fair lass Liandra!

THE CHASE IS ON!
From Saturday morning until …??

Join the discussion at: http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/pirate-chase.306289/