Pitmuck Pirate Invasion

Pitmuck Island

February 7, 2015

By Riyana

Rumors of an impending attack on the island of goblins had been circulating for some time, and the notorious Holly Bloodhand herself had been spotted sailing toward Pitmuck. On Saturday, February 7th at 8PM EST, citizens from all over Sosaria gathered in the Vesper Auction House and Tavern to form a defense force and hopefully intercept Bloodhand before she could reach the island.

The group quickly traveled to a boat near Pitmuck, the captain of which claimed to know Bloodhand’s exact location.

However, an interception was not to be: before ever spotting Bloodhand OR Pitmuck, a Scalis Enforcer appeared! They hastily sailed on to Pitmuck, where they could form a solid defense against the Scalis, and no sooner had they defeated it than Bloodhand sailed up and boldly stepped off the ship to taunt the crowd.

Oddly, she was alone–the rumored fleet was nowhere to be seen. When asked where her fleet was, she had a peculiar answer:

Then she did something even more peculiar: she threw mysterious bottles at the defenders.

She then summoned a harbinger and sailed around the island while the defenders defeated it. Upon its defeat they followed her once more… to find a strange sight. What appeared to be an intact ship’s hold jutted out of the ground as if forced up through the earth. Bloodhand, clearly enjoying herself, made a few cryptic remarks about her so-called uncle, a mage known for his incredibly powerful translocation magics, having put it there for her… and that he could take it away.

And take it away he apparently did. The hold disappeared, and out poured well over a dozen rune beetles. Holly crowed on about how these were matured Pitmuck pinworms (perhaps all that remained of some of her missing crew?) as the pheromones she’d doused everyone with earlier drove the creatures into a frenzy.

She left the ship a few more times, leading the defenders on a wild chase around the island into two more harbingers and dozens of treasure guardians. It seemed almost as though she was toying with them. Then suddenly, she announced that she had what she’d come for. She sailed away, leaving the defenders confused.

The answer came quickly. A woman from Nujel’m hurried up to the crowd, out of breath and distraught. She reported dire news indeed: while Pitmuck was being defended, Nujel’m had been overrun by pirates! The group quickly made their way to Nujel’m to find that, indeed, a number of pirates had taken up residence in the city. They found Bloodhand again just before she sailed away, supposedly for a victory drink with her uncle.

Fortunately, many of the defenders were quite familiar with her “uncle”, and had even secured his current location beforehand just in case. They quickly regrouped and headed off in pursuit. Indeed, he was not far at all from Nujel’m…

Corgul the Soulbinder, or “Uncle Corgul” as Bloodhand calls him, put up quite a fight, but he was no match for the defenders. Unfortunately Bloodhand either never bothered to have that drink with Corgul, or her taunting words were just another misdirection–she was nowhere to be found.

It was also later discovered that she in fact had made away from Pitmuck with a large supply of ice cream, ostensibly when the defenders were under heavy opposition from her strange army of creatures. 

So the good news: save for the plundering of its ice cream stores, Pitmuck is safe. No permanent damage appears to have been done, and the island is free of pirates.

The bad news: the attack on Pitmuck was only a diversion, and now Nujel’m appears to be under Bloodhand’s control.

What is going on with these “Pitmuck pinworms” and the strange pheromones Bloodhand cooked up? What is she doing in Nujel’m? What will she do next? And what of the ice cream–could this be related to the ice cream theft in Jhelom? Only time will tell, so keep your eyes and ears open!

Unveiling the Evil

Yew

February 2nd, 2015

By Riyana

On Monday, February 2nd, citizens from around Sosaria answered the call of Governor Tehan of Yew. It seemed that Orcish Chief Crak’Trizh had made another threat on the city of Yew:

The volunteers assembled in front of the Empath Abbey and proceeded to the Yew prison to interrogate Orcish prisoners about Crak’Trizh… where they discovered that the prisoners had been transferred to Governor Tehan’s personal office in Dragon’s Watch.

After expelling an aggressive interloper who may or may not have been allied with Crak’Trizh, they they discovered that the governor had performed various forms of torture upon the prisoners in an effort to extract information… and only one remained alive.

Orcish prisoner Kipu refused to speak with Governor Tehan in the room, but when he grudgingly left, someone handed him a banana that he requested and he became a bit more forthcoming. He indicated that Crak’Trizh hadn’t just targeted Yew–he’d left a surprise for EVERY city governor. A quick search of the governors’ offices yielded a number of bombs! Each one had a letter incripted on it… and when all the bombs were gathered, it was clear that they spelled the word “justice”.

While there was speculation that this was some form of Orcish justice, some recalled that the last place Crak’Trizh was seen was near Justice Falls. The group followed Governor Tehan to a ship he had parked near there, and they shortly discovered what had to be Crak’Trizh’s hideout.

The door was barricaded, but the barricade was no match for the ship’s powerful cannon. The group entered the hideout and had to destroy another barricade with explosion potions. They’d almost reached Crak’Trizh… but he pulled up the rope ladder before they could get to him on the top floor. He ran into a death vortex within a blood pentagam and disappeared momentarily… and returned as a daemon!

He ran outside and summoned an ally to aid him–a harbinger. He then escaped in the confusion that followed. The group triumphed over the creature, but Crak’Trizh remains at large.

Many unanswered questions remain after the events that unfolded. What is Crak’Trizh up to? How did he get the power to transform into a daemon and summon such unholy allies? What more does Kipu know… and will he live long enough to tell it? We’ll have to wait until next time to find out!

An Icy Investigation Part Deux

Jhelom

January 29th, 2015

Governor Scabby put out a call to arms, as he continued the investigation into the mysterious icy patches and moongate. It did not take long for a motley crew of roughnecks to descend on to the Hand of Death Guild Hall in Jhelom.

As the menacing group awaited the arrival of the Governor of Jhelom, they played a rousing game of Duck-Duck-Goose! 

Governor Scabby arrived shortly after and got everyone into place, He started barking out orders of the soon to be raid on Ice Dungeon looking for clues about the mysterious happenings.

As the rowdy group was preparing to leave, they suddenly found themselves under siege by a group of unknown arctic creatures. 

The deadly fight quickly headed towards the mysterious moongate. The arctic creatures put on a valiant fight but were eventually defeated.

The exhausted group gathered at the moongate to regroup and catch their breath. It was there that they noticed that the gate had changed. It seemed alive yet gave off an icy cold aura, almost as if it were oozing death itself. As they looked for clues, they came across a book that had a strange an eerie sentence written inside. “All Hail the Arctic Tyrant” As Governor Scabby read aloud the cryptic message, he was suddenly transported from Jhelom to another area. After a quick recon, they found that they were outside Ice Dungeon, the very place that they had been about to raid. The coincidence was not missed by Governor Scabby and he quickly order his defenders inside the dungeon.

Once inside they quickly found a clue, it was a page torn our of a book!

After seeing the fiendish claw marks, they decided to head to the heart of the dungeon. Rumor has it that the a fiendish creature lives there and they needed to find out for sure. They battled their way through countless creatures and finally made it to the area they were looking for. Little did they know that the Ice Fiend had company!

After dispatching, the Ice Fiends and other creatures, the Arctic Ice Tyrant showed his face again and attacked the weary group. They put up a valiant fight and vanquished him with a vengeance! They started to explore the remainder of the rooms looking for clues when they came across something very strange. It was an ice cream recipe book owned by the Jhelom Ice Creem Shoppe located at the docks on the N/E side of the main island.

As they pondered on how and why it was removed from the ice cream shoppe. they were startled by the sudden appearance of another creature, the Glacial Lich. He let them know that he would never return the book and that they would suffer. As he disappeared, he left a small army of unfrozen mummies to keep the adventurers busy.

The worn out band of adventurers returned to Jhelom and decided to rest at the scene of the crime, the Ice Cream Shoppe. After recapping the events, they deduced that the Glacial Lich had stolen the recipe book from the Ice Cream Shoppe. They discovered that Governor Scabby had obtained the book from a wandering gypsy in Minoc who gave it to him in return for rotten food. It was also brought to light that the freezer had been designed and built by a tinker from Trinsic who had obtained the ice for the freezer directly from Ice Dungeon itself. Governor Scabby has pledged to find this gypsy by asking Governor Vic II of Minoc to assist. He and Governor Phoenix of Trinsic will attempt to locate and interrogate the tinker that had designed and built the freezer.

On a side note, it was commented  on that the cobblestone in Ice Dungeon was in much better shape than the loosely fitted stones that pass for pavement in Britain, Travelers in Britain beware!

Pitmuck Auction

Pitmuck

January 23rd, 2015 8pm EST

Pit muck hosted it’s first ever goblin run auction Friday night. It was considered a success and enjoyed by all. Governor Vic II of Minoc posted the following results:

Chesapeake Governor’s Council Meeting

Blackthorn’s Castle Council Room

January 18th, 2015 6:00 pm EST

The Chesapeake Governor’s Council Meeting started out like any other, the King discussed ongoing issues in the Kingdom, the governor’s discussed events in their cities, onlookers looked on with keen interest or slept noisily. When all of a sudden, out of thin air, black specters appeared. They were quickly dispatched by the governors and onlookers. While the King and governors discussed the incident, trying to figure out how they got through the magic enchantment defenses, an unknown figure appeared. The King recognized the voice and was distraught on the implications.

The unknown stranger moved dangerously close to the King!! The governors quickly surrounded him in a defensive posture, hoping to protect him from danger.

The King soon discovered that he was correct on who the voice sounded like…Nystul!!

Nystul’s image faded in and out as he spoke, at one point he assumed the form of a former man named David. King Blackthorn tried desperately to keep Nystul from fading, even working some magic of his own.

As quickly as he appeared and in the same manner, he disappeared in a huge flash of flames and  a loud explosion!

The King and governors are left with many questions as they try and ponder what happened and the message Nystul was trying to convey. Hopefully we will learn more at next month’s Chesapeake Governor’s Council Meeting.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 52nd Issue
June 27, 2014

HOW DEADBOB MET LADY TANG
Sometime during the DOS Age, DeadBob crossed the Gallowine River into Sosaria disguised as an itinerant grave robber. Dropping his heavy accent and old surname like a hot grenade, he immediately set about setting up toll booths on the highways and bridges, accosting the King’s messengers and sending the Royal family threatening & suggestive letters.
It was during this phase of active communication with the Royal family that Lady Tang, Handmaiden to the Princess Gladwrap, came across the Princess’ collection of DeadBob’s more suggestive letters and became intrigued by his vivid imagination, or “Fevered delusions,” as she coyly opined. Being of helpful heart, Lady Tang set out one day with Lord Protector Sir GaggingLance to save DeadBob’s immortal soul and to bring his mortal body into civilized society. They found him under a nearby toll bridge singing lurid elf songs to guffawing trolls. The good Lady prevailed upon him to accept a full pardon and job as the editor of the Kingdom’s newspaper, the Sosarian Beagle, at a salary highway men can only dream of, in exchange for which he reluctantly gave up his sordid outlaw ways.
Under Lady Tang’s tutelage, DeadBob done good. He delved into indepth articles about the Nobles and set aside enough “unpublishable” material to assure a comfortable retirement on hefty blackmail payments.
EPILOGUE: Last Friday, DeadBob and Lady Tang celebrated their 18th year together, having first met online in 1994 while playing Sierra’s early multiplayer game, ImagiNation Network.

A YORK MOMENT
“I didn’t sleep well last night, so this morning I drank Monster energy drinks instead of coffee. I was on the freeway headed for work when I realized I forgot my car.”

THE PERILS OF KATTASROPHE
Part 2 of 3 Demoiselle en Détresse
“You are just too good!” sneered Mr Bill. “Always helping others, entertaining them by putting on events and plays and interviewing players for the newspaper and even giving away gold and things.
“Then why are you sneering at me?” Katt truly wondered.
“This is my smile,” he sneered. “And on top of everything else, you’re cheerful. Gah!!” And with that, he threw her into a big web and cast a scotch tape spell across her.
“Is this a proposal?” Katt asked, bewildered.
“See what I mean? You’re a forever optimist!”
“Then why am I here?”
“Because, my dear, you make me look bad. And my pets are hungry,” Mr Bill chortled. “You are so charitable, I’m sure you will enjoy feeding them.” He cast a summoning spell into the shadows and swarms of slavering arachnids swarmed towards the trapped Katt who squirmed and struggled against her gluey bonds.
“Oh noooo! Mr. Bill,” she cried!
Will Katt escape the web of the dastardly Mr. Bill? Don’t miss Part 3!

HOROSCOPE
Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22
You will never again be able to live in peace due to the enduring and seductive power of your moose call.

PKrs BALL
All players are invited to the Annual PKrs BALL & Benefit to be held at 7 PM EST next Friday at the Perilous Inquirer.
Free Liquor will flow. Free Bandages will be soaked. Door Prizes will be Handed Out by the Door Prize Steward and a Drawing will be Held for a complete 52 Volume set of The Perilous Inquirer.
Benefit donations are strictly voluntary and may be placed in the mailbox. 100% of your donation will go to the Widows & Orphans of Alien Abductees.
Don’t miss this Signature Siege Event!
Ghost Hosted by DeadBob.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 52nd Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the conversation at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-last-issue.317569/

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 51st Issue
June 20, 2014

EM TROUBADOUR
Interview by Kattasrophe
EM Troubadour has played Ultima Online since the first day of its release. “I considered myself luck to live in one of the few countries that already had cable Internet which really helped,” he said.
“I won’t say it was a choice to go on Siege, but I did volunteer for the shard. “I think that Siege presents a greater challenge for both, player and EM and I love a good challenge,” he commented after me asking if he chose Siege.
What shard is EM Troubadour originally from? “I started out on Atlantic and while I have characters on many different shards, Atlantic is and always will be my home.
What made him decide to become an EM? “After almost 17 years in a game, you tend to look for new ways to contribute to something you love. This seemed like a great way to give something back to the community. I also get to kill people! What could be better than that?
What is his favorite template? “That is a difficult question. I use different characters for different things. Fishing when I want to relax, a tamer for Peerless or T-maps, a mage variant for most PvM and some PvP.”
See the complete “EM Troubador Interview” on Stratics.

WoW USING SIEGE FOR RENDITION
This reporter has learned that WoW players set up a secret base here on Siege Perilous to interrogate opponents, using methods too harsh for the WoW Code Of Conduct. “It’s also a lot of fun,” according to my unnamable source. “This place rocks.”

THE PERILS OF KATTASROPHE
Part 1 of 3 Demoiselle en Détresse
The beautiful Princess Kattasrophe, known to her friends and court familiars as Katt, most graciously tipped the messenger who brought her flowers as he bowed & scraped away. Suddenly, she heard a buzzing at her ear and felt a sting on her neck. Viciously slapping the bee to the floor, she raised her foot to stomp it when she noticed, “That’s no ordinary bee. It looks like….” The sting from the Hypnotic Bee made her woozy.
Dashing to the window, she flung it open for fresh air as more bees rose from the roses. Dizzy from the sting, Princess Katt fell out the window, pursued by the swarm of bees. It was a long way down. Luckily, she was wearing full petticoats that bloomed open to form a parachute and slow her fall. Unluckily, the swarm of bees now gained on her. Their hypnotic buzzing formed words, “Marry Mr. Bill, marry Mr. Bill,” they repeated over and over.
“Oh noooo! Mr. Bill,” cried Katt as she landed next to a moongate. Stepping hastily into it avoid more bee stings, she failed to notice the quirky oddness of the moongate until she was transported and then it vanished altogether! Where was she? Had she escaped from the Dastardly Mr. Bill only never return to her beloved Hearth Castle, home of her loving family?
Princess Katt drew herself up to her full 4’7″ and looked around. It was a dark and stormy night. She was cold and hungry and now wet. Ahead, she could barely make out a glow of light that resolved into candle lit windows as she approached a small cottage. Knocking on the door, she couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Bill’s despicable attempt to force her to marry him. What was he thinking?
Suddenly, the door opened and she was whisked inside. The high pitched squeaky laugh of Mr. Bill greeted her as his eight spider legs danced insanely on the floor.
“Oh noooo! Mr. Bill,” cried Katt, reaching for her frying pan.
Will Katt escape the clutches of The Dastardly Mr. Bill? Don’t miss Part 2 in the next issue of the Perilous Inquirer!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Ander, “I always got caught by the GM without a pickaxe and UO jail is really dull without it.”

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“What TV show featured the Play-doh character, Mr. Bill?”

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 51st Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-51st-issue.317300/

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 50th Issue
Friday the 13th, June, 2014

FIFTIETH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE

PORTENTS
In the wee hours of this morning, I put together the 50th issue of the Perilous Inquirer on Friday the 13th during a full moon. A black cat crossed my thoughts. I saw the night through the open window in front of my desk as a meteor streaked through a display of the aurora borealis, a giant hand wrote Vote For Change across the sky in wind swept clouds and a flock of crows flew by in the shape of a middle finger. From the street below my window came the sounds of a large dog being unexpectedly struck by a larger vehicle. Suddenly, I had the overpowering feeling that the end was near.
Yes, issue 52 will be our last issue. But to the very end, we shall publish only the truth, and we shall never quote out of context.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“I also have it on good authority that the Stratics mods were behind 9/11 and are heading the research on some crashed UFOs in the Nevada desert. There has also been talk that they were involved in the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in 1914, but that one seems a little far-fetched to me.”
– Hoffs, from his forthcoming book, Confessions To My Analyst.

GOVERNORS INVESTIGATED
– by Kattasrophe
Governors Gooch and Kattasrohe are being investigated. Why you ask? Gooch is being investigated for the harassment of the people in Nu’Jelm and for breaking Moonglow’s quarantine. Kattasrophe is charged with the murder of Moonglow citizens. Join the discussion of their actions this Sunday, June the 15th, at the Council meeting in Serpent’s Hold. Get the real story!

THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF JACK CORDWOOD
Jack, UO Bowyer and avid hunter, was interviewed by an animal rights activist who plays on the European shard. The journalist asked, “What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, ‘Are you my friend?’ or is it ‘Are you the one that killed my brother?'”
Jack replied, “Deer aren’t capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, ‘What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away.’ They are very much like animal rights activists.” The interview ended at that point.
Buy Jack Cordwood Bows! Shoot straight!

HOROSCOPE
Gemini May 21 – Jun 21
Avoid people who find personally meaningful patterns in the movement of stars and planets.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“What was the occupation of Richard Garriott’s father?”

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
EM Is Anti-Family:
Troubadour is ant-family! He scheduled a Governors’ Meeting for Father’s Day!!
– Bo “Bo” Bo
~
Official Response:
Trou simply scheduled the Governors’ Meeting on the best day available.
Bo ain’t the father, anyway.
– Spokesperson, Wulf2k

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 50th Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Supplier of Red Leaves: Sara Dale
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-fiftieth-anniversary-issue.317033/

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 49th Issue
June 6, 2014

ONLY 3 ISSUES REMAINING
The Perilous Inquirer will cease publication after the forthcoming 52nd issue. It’s been a year of fun. So many others have contributed that I cannot name them all here but readers and supporters know who they are. Please accept my heartfelt thanks, all of you. Some readers, probably those less literate or completely unhinged, actually collect all issues. Back copies will continue to be placed for a while on the vendor, Siege Droppings.
Priorities change. I have finished my novel, The Phoenix Diary, and am currently self-editing the final draft. So I’ll be spending July onward promoting it to publishers. Wish me luck It’s not deathless prose; but a light Sci-Fi adventure about 3 teens and their quest to restore civilization in the world of 2100. You can get an idea of it at http://ThePhoenixDiary.com. Oh, and the illustrator, Rachel Cowan, is a player I met on UO.

CASINO NIGHT
The 3rd Barter Town Casino Night is this Sunday June 8th 8:00-9:00pm EST
Read all about it here: http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-3rd-barter-town-casino-night-sunday-june-8th-8-00-9-00pm-est.315758/
Pictures included for those who um, need them.

ADVICE TO THE LOVE-LOST
By Dr. BN’dere-Dundat
StUdLy writes: “I got a great bod! Flowing blond hair, rakish mustache. Big sword and I’m naked!! My title is “Ready” -yet girls don’t talk to me much. What else do I need?”
Dr. Ruth: “A life?”
~
Wyllng writes: “Please help me *sob* Dr. Ruth. I meet so many wonderful guys here and they always say such nice things to me and fill me with their joy and then I fall in love with them and give them my heart and then *uncontrollable sob* I find out all they wanted wasn’t my heart at all but….”
Dr. Ruth: “Thanks, Willng. I understand. Be comforted that this never happens to you in the real world, does it, my dear?”

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH REPORT
Stoned guy still waiting for stop sign to turn green.

HOROSCOPE
Gemini May 21 – Jun 21
Enlightenment and confusion will be yours this week, when a tree falls in the woods only to make the sound of one hand clapping.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“What spell did UO ban after it was used to bombard people inside their homes?”

BELLAIRE MUSEUM SHOP
Ring in the Summer at the classy Bellaire Museum Shop, just SE of the TerMur moongate, within GuardZone.
Always stocked with unique items you won’t find elsewhere. Walk to the roof and enjoy a safe and pleasant shopping trip.
Holden Caulfield, Proprietor.

CORRECTION
In the last issue we may have incorrectly reported that the new guild from Atlanta is named Exported Exulted Exiles Klub (EEEK). The correct name is Exported Exulted Exiles (~**~). Or maybe they just changed their name to embarrass us. We report, you decide.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 49th Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-49th-issue.316763/

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 48th Issue
May 30, 2014

GUILD MOVES TO SIEGE
A small Atlantic guild, Exported Exulted Exiles Klub (EEEK), has opened their doors in Malas. Similar to NEW2, the guild members spend their time and resources helping other players.
Some of you may know the Guildmistress, Shachar, who has an impeccable reputation on Atlantic as a community supporter. (I will personally vouch for her. She helped raise over 200 million gold in a single event for the Hall Of Players on Atlantic.)
These are experienced UO players who expect to enjoy the excitement of Siege life and they could bring in more players who actually stay here.
We welcome them to Siege.

SERVERS DOWN
Spokesperson Wang Dong, aka UglyGorilla, denied any Chinese involvement in the EMP explosion at Broadsword studios this week.
“Think about it,” he explained, “EMP grenades cost at least 20k on the black market. Each. Destroying a LAN of Commodore VIC-20 servers with an EMP is not economically feasible. It was probably the North Koreans.”

And now, for all the Chicken fighters out there….
CHICKEN FIGHT SONG
Sing it Loud & Sing it Proud
(To the tune of “South Park”)
“Chicken Fighters everywhere,
Fighting fowl & never fair,
Ripping flesh & eyeballs popping,
Opponents slipping on our droppings!
Fighting on for gory glory,
Singing sagas of our story.
Chicken Fighters EveryWhere!”
(repeat ad nausium

UO SURVEY
Real life surveys show that production shard players say, “Oh S***” before their car slides into a ditch on a slippery road. Siege players say, “Hold my beer and watch this.”

HOROSCOPE
Gemini May 21 – Jun 21
You will be forced to leave the best home you ever had when the authorities realize your sentence is up.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“Who started the guild, Exported Exulted Exiles?”

BELLAIRE MUSEUM SHOP
Ring in the Summer at the classy Bellaire Museum Shop, just SE of the TerMur moongate, within GuardZone.
Always stocked with unique items you won’t find elsewhere. Walk to the roof and enjoy a safe and pleasant shopping trip.
Holden Caulfield, Proprietor.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 48th Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-48th-issue.316502/