The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Eighteenth Issue
November 1, 2013

BLACKTHORN SIGNS PET MARRIAGE BILL
Citing opportunities bestowed by redefining traditions, Lord King Blackthorn legalized marriage between players and their pets yesterday in a ceremony attended by his beloved swampy, “Lapdancer from Hell.”
“Lord knows it’s about time,” the Lord said.

WHY THAT NAME?   – by RueTor
Bo: “Bo was picked out by my bother when we were in college playing uo in the late 90s. He had some Chinese classes and he picked Bo for two reasons. Bo is a Chinese title translated as “Count” or “The Count.” It also is a nearly extinct minority population in Southern China famous for hanging coffins of the dead. Since I came to siege about 8 years ago I assumed the character and decided to make the character “The Count” (aka red). I decided to put my own twist on it, by only talking in the third person. It worked out well since Bo Jackson was famous for saying Bo knows.”
Hugibear: “Hugibear was created at the same time in the late 90s. I have always been a huge fan of old cars and there is none finer than a 1976 Limited edition Ford Gran Torino. I thought Starsky & Hutch were boring names and i really didnt want to be a cop in game. So I thought of the most interesting character on that show, Huggy Bear who was a pimp that was always willing to help. I shortened the name to Hugibear, i dont know why, maybe it is because I am a horrible speller. who knows?”

OVERHEARD IN LUNA
Ariana~Riverwind: “You paid 20 mil for that dye tub?!!”
Pendragon: “It’s guaranteed for 600 years. I got it in writing.”

And The WINNING LIMERICKS Are….
Norman Bates First Place Limerick
Thar once were a pirate named KEYES…
‘ew terrorized the High Seas…
’til the day he got caught,
bein’ hung was his lot
An they leff him ter twist inna breeze :]

Delilah The Mad Second Place Limerick
Knew a seafaring lass named Rouxx
She found herself quite a nice crew
But they thought her a fool
Her acts misconstrued
Alas how I miss that sweet Rouxx

Gregette Third Place Limerick
On Siege, mean nasty pirates inhabit Arrr
They sail the seas near and far
From sea farers they extract booty
Which is pilfered by Liandra the cutie
Making the pirates shout -Arrr!

Tang Fourth Place Limerick
There was a young pirate named Parium,
Who escaped from the Siege Sanitarium,
When confronted with capture,
He exclaimed in rapture,
“Cogito Ergo Pirateum!”

Join the discussion at: http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/and-the-winning-limericks-are.306820/

LETTERS
Thank you Arrr for the great Limerick Event. I had fun writing and rhyming. The participation was great and the competition stiff.
The prizes were terrific especially for a newcomer to Siege Perilous and exactly the items I needed!
– Tang

ARIANA RIVERWIND
Can’t find that special gift for that special someone?
Seek out Bert, Ariana Riverwind’s worker. He is located in the inner North-West corner, which is inside guard zone of Luna.

SIEGE ESTATE RUNEBOOKS
Where would you like to go? Siege Estate Runebooks will take you there.
Shop at player vendors, NPC vendors; visit towns & cities & libraries across the land, play at the Hub Pub, check out the Radio Station or roll the dice at the Dead Horse Saloon.
You can go anywhere with Siege Estates Runebooks. Look for them at your favorite vendors or tell Grimlex to get off his duff & make more.

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Contributor: RueTor
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-eighteenth-issue.307056/