The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 51st Issue
June 20, 2014

EM TROUBADOUR
Interview by Kattasrophe
EM Troubadour has played Ultima Online since the first day of its release. “I considered myself luck to live in one of the few countries that already had cable Internet which really helped,” he said.
“I won’t say it was a choice to go on Siege, but I did volunteer for the shard. “I think that Siege presents a greater challenge for both, player and EM and I love a good challenge,” he commented after me asking if he chose Siege.
What shard is EM Troubadour originally from? “I started out on Atlantic and while I have characters on many different shards, Atlantic is and always will be my home.
What made him decide to become an EM? “After almost 17 years in a game, you tend to look for new ways to contribute to something you love. This seemed like a great way to give something back to the community. I also get to kill people! What could be better than that?
What is his favorite template? “That is a difficult question. I use different characters for different things. Fishing when I want to relax, a tamer for Peerless or T-maps, a mage variant for most PvM and some PvP.”
See the complete “EM Troubador Interview” on Stratics.

WoW USING SIEGE FOR RENDITION
This reporter has learned that WoW players set up a secret base here on Siege Perilous to interrogate opponents, using methods too harsh for the WoW Code Of Conduct. “It’s also a lot of fun,” according to my unnamable source. “This place rocks.”

THE PERILS OF KATTASROPHE
Part 1 of 3 Demoiselle en Détresse
The beautiful Princess Kattasrophe, known to her friends and court familiars as Katt, most graciously tipped the messenger who brought her flowers as he bowed & scraped away. Suddenly, she heard a buzzing at her ear and felt a sting on her neck. Viciously slapping the bee to the floor, she raised her foot to stomp it when she noticed, “That’s no ordinary bee. It looks like….” The sting from the Hypnotic Bee made her woozy.
Dashing to the window, she flung it open for fresh air as more bees rose from the roses. Dizzy from the sting, Princess Katt fell out the window, pursued by the swarm of bees. It was a long way down. Luckily, she was wearing full petticoats that bloomed open to form a parachute and slow her fall. Unluckily, the swarm of bees now gained on her. Their hypnotic buzzing formed words, “Marry Mr. Bill, marry Mr. Bill,” they repeated over and over.
“Oh noooo! Mr. Bill,” cried Katt as she landed next to a moongate. Stepping hastily into it avoid more bee stings, she failed to notice the quirky oddness of the moongate until she was transported and then it vanished altogether! Where was she? Had she escaped from the Dastardly Mr. Bill only never return to her beloved Hearth Castle, home of her loving family?
Princess Katt drew herself up to her full 4’7″ and looked around. It was a dark and stormy night. She was cold and hungry and now wet. Ahead, she could barely make out a glow of light that resolved into candle lit windows as she approached a small cottage. Knocking on the door, she couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Bill’s despicable attempt to force her to marry him. What was he thinking?
Suddenly, the door opened and she was whisked inside. The high pitched squeaky laugh of Mr. Bill greeted her as his eight spider legs danced insanely on the floor.
“Oh noooo! Mr. Bill,” cried Katt, reaching for her frying pan.
Will Katt escape the clutches of The Dastardly Mr. Bill? Don’t miss Part 2 in the next issue of the Perilous Inquirer!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Ander, “I always got caught by the GM without a pickaxe and UO jail is really dull without it.”

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“What TV show featured the Play-doh character, Mr. Bill?”

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 51st Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-51st-issue.317300/