The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 32nd Issue
February 6, 2014

ZOMBIES!
More players are finding they can no longer log out of the game. “It’s the easiest way to add NPCs to UO.” said NPC Recruiter, Duane Jones, star of Night Of The Living Dead (1968.) “As the UO population winds down, we need more and more NPCs to roam vacant cities. So we Zombify bank sitters. Most of the time, they don’t even notice.”

UO SEQUEL?
A sequel to Ultima Online, tentatively titled Undead Online, offers hope to the current crop of NPCs who have practically nowhere to go and very little to do when they get there. “Trinsic can be very boring to walk about,” Wandering Healer Gwen pointed out. “Unless you fall off a bridge, there’s really no excitement at all. But if we can get a game all to ourselves, just us NPCs, we can organize some social activities. I’d like to see a gambling resort for NPCs, like some shards have on Fire Island.”

SEASHAWKS THANK BRONCOS
“That was a wonderful practice session,” declared Assistant Athletic Trainer, David Stricklin.
Added Team Mascot Blitz, “We gave ’em 8 points just for being good sports.”

YOU (excerpt)
You sprawled in my gaze,
staring back from anyone’s face, from the shape of a cloud,
from the pining, earth-struck moon which gapes at me

and I open the bedroom door. The curtains stir. There you are
on the bed, like a gift, like a touchable dream.

– Carol Ann Duffy is the first woman, gay person, and Scot to hold the position of Poet Laureate in the UK.

NSA JOINS UO
“Siege is a perfect place for terrorists to meet,” explained National Security Agency spokesperson, Al Cada.
“Our mission here is to be sure that the person killing you isn’t dangerous.”

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
“What word, when spoken at the Serpent Pillar, teleports you to the Lost Lands?”

HALL OF PLAYERS
The Siege Perilous Hall Of Players is accepting exhibits. Give an item or a book or a statue with your character’s name on it to Kattasrophe or to Victoria, or drop it into the mailbox at the Perilous Inquirer. Your named items will be used to create your exhibit.
The Hall Of Players is open to all Siege players.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 32nd Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Free current issues are on the “News” steward. Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.” Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-32nd-issue.311204/