The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 31st Issue
January 31, 2014

LUNA OBSERVER
Mollie Fogsbane was Shadowen Darkstar. He seemed headed towards the PwnBroker. It’s Tru, Molly thought, Darkstar is gonna sell the Waynbo he stole from me. That’s my best hunting bow and if I don’t get it back Famine could take me. This could be a real Kattasrophe! Well, Molly decided, I’ll throw that Babbling Loonie for a Lupe. She hitched up her Leather Lucy, and, sneaking ahead, she spread Viscount Goop on the walk and waited. The Skunk stepped in it and while he was stuck, Mollie gave him a Hugibear wedgie guaranteed to spoil his seksdreams and grabbed her Bo back.
“Spiffykeen!” she chortled.

EVENT
Rumor has it the Shadowlords are planning to hold Winter Olympic Games on Siege. “It’ll be Russian style,” announced Diablo. “Contestants and spectators are advised to bring their own body bags.”

NEW STUDY
Quack Pollsters have determined that smoking cannabis makes you feel different. “They’re still the same person,” explained Dr. AJ. “But pot keeps that fact from them.”

SIEGE GRANNIES
From Nigeria have opened a PayPal account where any Siege player can now wire money to UO players in Limbo. “Heaven awaits the charitable,” said Grannie Abimbola*. “Those who contribute now to the poor souls stuck in Limbo will enter Heaven riding on a camel.”
[*Nigerian name meaning, “Born to be rich.”]

RECORD SET BY DEAD KID
“Nobody has ever been on UO without logging as long as him,” said a saddened friend today. “I don’t know his real name, but he should be in the Hall Of Players for this. Look, he’s still bank-sitting in Luna.” Asked about funeral arrangements, the friend admitted, “We haven’t planned ahead yet. Nobody will go into that room.”

HALL OF PLAYERS
The Siege Perilous Hall Of Players is accepting exhibits. Give an item or a book or a statue with your character’s name on it to Kattasrophe or to Victoria, or drop it into the mailbox at the Perilous Inquirer. Your named items will be used to create your exhibit.
The Hall Of Players is open to all Siege players.

The Hall Of Players on Atlantic exhibits over 350 UO players, from the days of the Mage Tower to current players and includes exhibits of former players who died in real life. Ask on chat how to find it.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
How many Castles are on Siege?

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 31st Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Free current issues are on the “News” steward. Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe

Unwitting Contributors: Mollie, Fogsbane, Shadowen, Darkstar, PwnBroker, Tru, Waynbo, Famine, Kattasrophe, Babbling Loonie, Lupe, Leather Lucy, Viscount Goop, Skunk, Hugibear, seksdreams, Bo, Spiffykeen, Diablo, Dr AJ.

Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-31st-issue.310890/