Perilous Inquirer – Fifth Issue

September 05, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

The Perilous Inquirer
 Vol. 1, Fifth Issue
August 2, 2013

KING EDWARD REMANDED
To the Siege Witness Protection Program
“It’s for his own good,” Parium said over King Edward’s screams of outrage. “And ours.”
“He gets so uptight,” an elite ninja pointed out. “Betrayal, being killed, dry looted, subjected to libelous lies – little things like that just drive him nuts.”

NEW2 GRADUATION
by Kattasrophe
The NEW2 graduation was held on July 27th at 2 PM. Many were there to see their friends graduate. Bartelby came and killed 8 NEW2 graduates including me. Then, On Your Side began stealing items and a few people began killing him. Lilith came and everyone kept booting him out. On Your Side gave up and left the ceremony.
Overall, the NEW2 Graduates enjoyed the ceremony and look forward to seeing others graduate.

OVERHEARD ON CHAT
“There’d be a lot more socializing on Siege if the beds worked.”

OP/ED
by Lupe
As I’ve been travelling far and wide, it was news to me that Old Blackthorn had become king. Now I read a news article as to whether he’s a fake, or a zombie? I’ll tell you what he is, and it’s something much worse, he’s FRENCH!
I hear tell of this Consiel Du Roi. What in the name of the virtues happened to the King’s Council???
Then I got to talking with an old friend of mine who says he snuck into the coronation ceremonies, or whatever they chose to call THAT. He says they ask Blackthorn, when do y’want yer stuff moved into Castle British?
Blackthorn replies- “Oh no, Ah don’ need Castle British you see? Ah’ve already got one.”
“Yes, we know you already have one, but-”
“Oh yes! Is very naahss”
I stopped my friend there as I had heard more than I needed to draw my own conclusions. Let us hope that our governors and town councils have better Britannian heads on their shoulders than Lord King “Frenchypants” Blackthorn.

TAZAR WILLS MUCH OF UO TO UO
Luckily, Tazar has made many friends and we were able to kill the daemon that inexplicitly spawned behind him just after he signed his will bequeathing his many land holdings back to UO in the event of his death.
“It seemed like the right thing to do at the time,” Tazar later said. “But now I have this ‘hunted’ feeling.”

LETTER TO THE EDITOR
I, for one, welcome our new zombie overlords with brains and punch! With any luck our rotting ruler will inflict us all with the gift of undeath at the next governors’ meeting.
– Zoloms

The Perilous Inquirer
Published by The Perilous Inquirer & Liquor Mart
“Where news & booze go hand in hand”
Address: 3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
(Sealed copies of the current issue are on the steward, next to the liquor vendor. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”)
Editor: DeadBob
Contributors: Kattasrophe, Otero, Lupe, Zoloms
Reporters Wanted! Submit stories to [email protected] or PM DeadBob on stratics.
Lawsuits: Dewey Cheatum & Howe

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-fifth-issue.302761/

Freja’s Interview – The Ideal Siege

September 02, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

Freja’s Interview -An Open Discussion Of Siege- Part 3 of 3, The Ideal Siege Perilous
One Player’s frank & personal perspective on Siege’s history, current circumstances and how we might improve it all. Thanks to Freja’s thoughtful and detailed responses, this is broken into three parts: The Early Years, NEW2, and the Ideal Siege.
You are invited to join in the discussion!

“I would want to get the feeling back, I had when I played 1997-1998 but how to make that happen with today’s UO, that’s not easy.”

DeadBob, Last Question: Imagine that you owned Siege Perilous and you could order the programmers to make any changes that you wanted. What would your Siege be like?

Freja:
Oh I do sometimes wish, I could do that but can’t say, if it would be a success, as it’s very hard to make all happy. I would want to get the feeling back, I had when I played 1997-1998 but how to make that happen with today’s UO, that’s not easy.

Maybe the question is, what was it we did lose over the years?

1. Players roaming the land
– Newbies hunting for skills and basic items and resources
– PvM’ers, who do not like dungeons, maybe because of bad connection or other reasons
– PvP players, looking for a fight, that include blue and red roleplayers
– Crafters /gatherers, who will be out looking for resources

2.. Active player towns
– With shops and working crafters
– Players using the forest and mining spots near the player town

3. City loyalty
– Players mostly using the town near their home village
– Players meeting at the bank, the smithy, the tailor or other shops

4. The dungeons
– On Siege, it is to hard to get ind and out of the dungeons. At Covetous, mages can easy get to and from the levels but if you die, it’s a pain to get out and get rezzed and get in again. Warriors do have a lot of disadvantages on Siege.

5. PvP and RP
– I really did like the good old red vs blue system. I don’t like faction as it ruin alot RP and don’t work as a part of the community we once had around the cities and the player towns. The red vs blue worked much better, as red would raid dungeons, player towns and resource spots. That would bring out the blue PvP’ers, who would try to protect the places and run off the reds.

Now what would I do to try get this back?

1. Players roaming the land (here I’m most thinking of the Felucca facet)

– Newbies hunting for skills and basic items and resources
–> Make the animals stronger, newbies and weak crafters should only be able to kill sheep, hinds, pigs, goats, chickens and birds. to kill bulls, wolves, bears, big cats, you would need at least 70-90 in skills depending of support skills or not. Grizzly bears and dire wolves should be red and aggressive like in old days. Increase the count of hide a little.
–> Add back the old random gypsy and brigand spawn including the chest/barrels for lockpick/disarm trap training. I would also add some, who was not locked and where the trap would summon some evil mages or aggressive archers when you try to loot them. Should be able to spawn near player houses. They need to be made stronger too, special the Gypsies and they need better loot, maybe something blue will go grey to get. Gems, imbuing resources and stuff a crafter would keep in his backpack. Killing blue npc’s should again give you counts as it did in old days on Siege. That would be a way for evil roleplayers to go red without having to depend on counts from killing players. However if the char already had 5+ counts, he would not get one from a blue npc. The Brigands loot should be more like the loot in a PK’s backpack, gold, jewelry, weapon, armor with mods good for young chars and maybe limit to 1-2 mods, like 15-20 LRC or 1-2 stats regen, 4-8 stats increase but no crap mods. This way, young crafters could imbue 1-2 mods more and newbies could build a LRC suit or a warrior suit and get a weapon with 1-2 nice mods. I would also add 75% exceptional bonus to most armor and weapon loot to make it more useful. The spawn from the trapped boxes should have loot like in Shame level 1-2 depending of the power of the mage/archer npc.
–> Add back the random orc spawns in the forest, also here I would like some spawn of locked/trapped containers and the trapped, not locked ones should summon some random kinds of orcs, mages, bombers or some strong warriors orcs. Also this monsters need to be a little stronger, special the ones from the trapped boxes. Loot should be much like from the brigand/gypsy spawn but more orc minded, shiny items, food, bottles of cider/wine, resources to make alcohol.
–> I would place a few more spawns in deep forest, like the Liches in Yew, one between Cove and Vesper and one NE of vesper. Also here we need to be able to spawn some Lich Lords. This spawn need Shame loot.

– PvM’ers, who do not like dungeons, maybe because of bad connection or other reasons
–> To them, the above fix would do the trick- PvP players, looking for a fight, that include blue and red roleplayers
–> also here, the above fix would do the trick together the one for the crafters below. More players hanging out in and around the player towns and in the wilderness will bring back lonely PK’s and raid of player towns. That will bring back the anti PK’s too

– Crafters /gatherers, who will be out looking for resources
–> We need to increase the resource gain from mining (more gems and more granite) and hide from animals and monsters with hide. More crafting resources, maybe some rare random drop of resources you normal find in dungeons. Also add 2x resource and fame spawn like on normal shards Felucca.

2.. Active player towns

– With shops and working crafters
–> Make vendor fee lower in the player towns, like 25% of fee around Luna, in New Magincia, around Zento and near moongates.
That will help merchants trying to run vendors at less populated places. Also use the old guard forts, add some gypsy vendors like we see in Ilshenar, We will need a minter, a stable, a Inn and crafter npcs depending of the size of the guard fort.

Also make a few spots for bazaar vendors.
– Players using the forest and mining spots near the player town
–> That will come if the changes above is made both about vendors and the spawn.

. City loyalty
– Players mostly using the town near their home village
–> Remove of faction and factions taxes will help here together with the new City loyalty system.

– Players meeting at the bank, the smithy, the tailor or other shops
–> This one is harder. I would like to see some bazaar vendors near the crafter shops and the stable. I would like the crafter to be able to access a special community box in his bank, then he is at a npc shop and have at least 300 point in crafting. I only think the box should be able to hold 5 stacks/deeds and to deed and undeed an item. That could give crafters a little protection, and allow them to keep most expensive imbuing resources safe or have access to a pile of leather or ingots but they would still need to have most in their backpack. We need the thieves too. A crafter with a few secure resources are better than no crafters at the NPC shop.

4. The dungeons
– On Siege, it is to hard to get in and out of the dungeons. At Covetous, mages can easy get to and from the levels but if you die, it’s a pain to get out and get rezzed and get in again. Warriors do have alot disadvantages on Siege.
–> I would add a few teleporters from outside the dungeons to the levels. Yes they could be a risk to use, as PK’s may guard them, they would help players who die in the dungeons to get out and find a healer and get in again. Maybe place them a little away from the dungeon entree so young players still can go to the first level without camping PK’s.

5. PvP and RP
– I really did like the good old red vs blue system. I don’t like faction as it ruin a lot of RP and don’t work as a part of the community we once had around the cities and the player towns. The red vs blue worked much better, as red would raid dungeons, player towns and resource spots. That would bring out the blue PvP’ers, who would try to protect the places and run off the reds.
–> I would remove faction and add a new system that works with the guild and alliance system. There would be a good and an evil side you could join as guild or as non guilded.
To join the good side, you would need to be blue. You would have to stay blue to stay in the system. If you kill a blue, you would get 3 murderer count instead of one. You would get discount from npc vendors if you have less than 3 counts, so your price would be 1 x normal shard prices, if 3 or 4 counts, it will be 2 x.
chars in the good system, with zero murderer count would also have access to a little crafting bonus like from Arms Lore and a loot/fame bonus when killing monsters.
Blue players outside the system will pay 2 x normal shards prices, murderes will pay 3 x the normal shard price.
Players joining the evil side will be red and can kill the chars in the good system without taking counts. They are allowed to kill blue outside the system but will gain a count, they won’t get count from killing blue in the system. An evil can chop for 1x the taxes if zero murderer counts, it will be 2 x the price if 1-4 counts and 3x the price if 5 or more counts. If 5 or more counts, guards can be called on him in town if attacking blue in or outside the system.
Murderer counts will faster if in the evil system, 10 hours to decay a count. If zero counts, they too will gain access to a little crafting bonus like from Arms Lore and a loot/fame bonus when killing monsters.

I think it would be something like that :)

a little more to last question. You asked: What would your Siege be like? I don’t think I answer that, but more what I would changes so here it is:
My Siege would be a place with life in and around the player towns
It would be a place, where the PvP’ers could find fights
It would be a place, where there was advantage from only killing the ones who accepted more risk
It would be a place, where there was rewards for the extra risk
It would be a place, where RP reds in the PvP system was able to afford PvP as they could target the blue in the PvP system
It would be a place, where you could choose not to join the PvP system but you would have to pay more in NPC shops and you would not get the extra crafting/fame/resource bonus
You could still play the old style murderer. VS now, you could buy from npc vendors but with 5 or more counts, it would cost more.

It would also be a place where player towns would get back to life and players would use the forest for hunting.
Crafters would be more active in the land and the they would search for resources too
They could afford placing vendors in the player towns without the fee eating their profit
I believe a lot new guilds would grow up and there would be some cool role players between them
If a red RP guild got respect, for their play style, I believe, their victims would not give them a count

I believe if people have more fun, more would play.

DeadBob: Thank you Freja for your thoughtful, detailed answers and for all that you have given to other players and to Siege Perilous.

[This concludes the three part interview.]

Join the Discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/frejas-interview-the-ideal-siege.304160/

NBT Scavenger Hunt 8:PM EST Saturday, 7 Sep 13

September 02, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

NBT Scavenger Hunt 8:PM EST Saturday, 7 Sep 13

Kattasrophe
will hand out books listing the items to be gathered at the
Perilous Inquirer
(Out the Luna south gate, 3rd house on your left)

Participants will have one hour to gather items from the list & return them to Katt.

The First Player to return the Most items wins
250,000 gp 1st Prize
100,000 gp 2nd Prize
50,000 gp 3rd Prize
(Additional prizes may be awarded)

Free liquor & good company assured.

Join in the fun this Saturday, September 7, at 8:PM EST !!

Freja’s Interview – NEW2

September 01, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

Freja’s Interview -An Open Discussion Of Siege- Part 2, NEW2
One Player’s frank & personal perspective on Siege’s history, current circumstances and how we might improve it all. Thanks to Freja’s thoughtful and detailed responses, this is broken into three parts: The Early Years, NEW2, and the Ideal Siege.
You are invited to join in the discussion!

“A wish to bring more life to Siege”

DeadBob: What does NEW2 mean to you?

Freja:
 Hmmm.
A reason to play
A wish to bring more life to Siege
Joy from seeing new players make it here

Most of my time on Siege, I had been helping young players. First I was running a sister guild to The Dark Outlaws, TDO, it was named The Dark Merchants, TDM and was made at same time as Luxor made the first NEW. The dark merchants was a guild of crafters and newbies. TDO was protecting them.

Then we had a year with power hour and Luxor took down NEW and I took down my guilds to try something different, I joined a PK guild, The Undead Lords. I had fun with them but then we got RoT back and we did again need a NEW guild. Someone was speaking about restarting it, but as I believed NEW need to be neutral with support from both the blue and the red community, just like old NEW and my TDM, did not believe the guy could handle it and I decided to do it, as Luxor had offered me to take over NEW before he took it down.

At that time, we still had old guild stones and there could only be one guild leader so I made a new account to hold the guild and the guildhouse. The house was donated of a red named Hel and the UDL donated a mill to help me get started. Money was a lot more worth at that time.

I found 4 players, who was willing to help me and gave them access to the account, so when we found a new player, we could login the account to join them. I was only running NEW a year, then my mother got sick and later died. When she was sick, I handled the guild to Shalimar. She was running it for several years.

When I was back in game, I did wish to get NEW back but Shalimar did love the guild as much as I do and we had no deal about giving it back to me so she decided to keep it. We tried to run it together but we did not agree about how to run it and she ended with kicking me as co-leader.

I was still emotional out of balance after losing my mom so I could not handle it and made a new guild, NEW., called NEWdot. That started a drama, some was supporting me and some Shalimar and some sure tried to put wood on the fire. After a while, Shalimar and I got a good talk and we could see, who it was, who wanted to ruin both hers and my reputation and take over NEW. I took down NEWdot and I tried once more to help her run NEW but even when I this time did let her take the lead, it did not work for me.

I got TDO up running again and we was doing well until factions arties again killed the shard. I was picking up young players, and added them to TDO and we was helping them get started.

Then a year ago, Shalimar stopped playing and old NEW was abandoned. Again some was speaking about making a new guild, forgot who but I did not feel good about it and again I choose to restart NEW, this time as NEW2.

I try to do it as good I can, but I do not have as many hours a day, as Shalimar had and I have hard with finding leaders, who can take over when I’m not there. I believe one of the problems are, I demand NEW2 to be neutral and I want the reds as well as the blue to feel they have part in the project. I think, for most, it’s easier to choose side, good or evil.

Helping players is what keep me playing. Some on the shard remember the part about NEWdot, but many do not know about that part. When I restarted NEW2, I feared the old drama should start again but I made it and I’m not emotional out of balance now, so the ones who tried, gave up and accepted, that I am running it now. I don’t know, if I will let Shalimar take over again, if she get back, I’m not sure I can take NEW2 down but I also know, 2 NEW guilds are hard to have as it will be hard to make the shard support both without taking side. I will have to speak with Shalimar if she comes back.

Next: Part 3 of the interview concludes with Freja’s “ideal Siege.”

Join the Discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/frejas-interview-new2.304102/

Treasure Hunt Saturday, September 7 @ 3:PM EST

September 01, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

Treasure Hunt Saturday, September 7 @ 3:PM EST
A Crown of Arcane Temperament is up for grabs inside a guard zone.

Coordinates will be announced over General Chat
Free sextants will be on the freebie vendor at Waterfall Bridge Shop & on ILEXIA’s vendor just behind the Perilous Inquirer.

Everybody Welcome!

Crown Of Arcane Temperament
Requires Expansion.
casting focus 2%
mana increase 8
mana regeneration 3
spell damage increase 8%
lower mana cost 6%
physical resist 10%
fire resist 14%
cold resist 4%
poison resist 12%
energy resist 7%Durability 255 / 255

(A circlet that can be stolen from the Stygian Abyss Dungeon and spawns southwest of Clan Ribbon Mini-Champ.
Worth 5,000 turn-in points.)

Any questions? Hail Ilexia on Siege General Chat

See you there!

Freja’s Interview – The Early Years

August 31, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

Freja’s Interview -An Open Discussion Of Siege- Part 1, The Early Years
One Player’s frank & personal perspective on Siege’s history, current circumstances and how we might improve it all. Thanks to Freja’s thoughtful and detailed responses, this is broken into three parts: The Early Years, NEW2, and the Ideal Siege.
You are invited to join in the discussion!

“it was like a second world, wild and untamed. It was a dangerous world,”

DeadBob:  You have played UO since the beginning days. When did you start? What was it like then?

Freja, a native citizen of Denmark:
 I missed the Beta, started Dec 1997 on Atlantic. My son came home with the account and Internet was on my computer, so he had to make me play to get access to it.
To me, the game was wonderful, it was like a second world, wild and untamed. It was a dangerous world, special outside towns. I started out as a miner/smith but after some deaths in the mining cave, I run out of money and a guy at bank gave me an axe and a hammer and told me to make wooden shields and sell them. I made bows too and ended up as an archer.
I don’t know why, but I never hated the reds, I more saw them as a challenge and wanted to learn to know them. Sure dying was annoying but I learned fast to have some backup gear or gold. Dying is worse as long you run around in death robe, as soon you are in a new suit and with a new weapon, everything look much better. If you was not careful, you could lose your house too. if you lost your key to a thief or a PK, that house would never be safe again. they could loot everything in there.
I still look back at year 1997-1998 as the best time I had in UO, even when I sometimes had so much lag, that it was hard to move and I lost connection a lot. I was on dial up from Denmark.
The game have changes a lot since then, not all changes was good for UO. I hated stat loss for murderers, even when it never hit me. It made a lot of my red friends give up.
I stopped playing on Atlantic, when we got Trammel and Siege become my main shard and have been it since. I did not like what Trammel did to Atlantic, it did split the community.

“I would not cry if Malas was removed from Siege, they could make a gate to Doom from somewhere else.”

DeadBob: How has Siege changed over the years?

Freja:
 Siege was born before Trammel and Item Insurance but after Stat Loss for murderers was added. If they rezzed with 5 or more counts, they would get up to 25% permanent skill lose. Siege was born without sick thing.

Siege was born with several special rules
1. No stat loss for murderers
2. No recall
3. No gating in and out of dungeon.
4. Only one char on an account
5. Red and grey can’t kick/ban from houses.
6. Red and grey will clean the ban list in houses, they are friend of, when they use the door.
7. NPC vendors take 3x the price for their wares.
8. NPC won’t buy your wares
9 Player vendors take 3x fee for working
10. The murderer title is gone for good.
11. No bounty system
12. Guards at the houses is peaceful, they do not attack reds.
13. RoT, Rate over Time skill gain for non resource using skills.
14. No Trammel and Item Insurance

Stat loss are removed from all shards now
The public houses and the lose of the key and refresh from the door removed # 5 & 6
Vendor fee should be the same as normal shards now.
The murderer title, I don’t know if it still are on normal shards.
Bounty system is gone on all shards
Think this guard at houses thing never really got patched
RoT are much faster now. We did lose RoT, when all got Power Hour, that was a pain, players could make a gm PK char in 5 days, and did not learn to understand Siege before they started killing.

Every time normal shards got a publish or a patch, we got most of it too, and not all changes was good for Siege. We did not get the Trammel code and Item Insurance but we did get the other new facets.
Special Malas was bad, to much land, Luna, very little over land spawn. I would not cry if Malas was removed from Siege, they could make a gate to Doom from somewhere else.

Then we got AoS, that was really bad as this new artifacts was very expensive and without Item Insurance, a lot could not afford good gear and did not have a chance to PvP.
Because of multi crafters on other shards, who could not fight the overland spawn, most of it was removed. That hurt Siege as we had new chars and lesser PvM chars using the overland and roaming PK’s, attacking them and the player towns.

We also got Faction, it split the community, good and evils joined same faction and Sieges native factions got destroyed. Before we had PvM and crafter guilds, roleplaying blue and roleplaying red guilds, Anti PK guilds and PK guilds, with faction, that got total messed up.

Imbuing was very expensive and not many could afford it.
It become really bad, when they added powerful factions items. I gave up PvP as I had no chance vs this overpowered chars and I did not want to be in faction. Siege almost died.

Until 2 years ago, it had been bad for Siege, then Devs changed direction and the last changes had been good for Siege. They did changes something with Factions Items and we got new loot in some of the old dungeons. That made relic much easier to get from unraw and the loot was much more powerful too. Now we can craft Suit most can afford. A upper suit is still expensive but as it become easier to make money, it works. Also the Bazaar vendors in New Magincia is a great help.

Now with the new rules for Siege houses and Mystic tokens, Siege are starting to get more players again.

Another thing with faction, that was bad for Siege was the factions taxes. Before people was loyal to the town near their house, that did help the community. With factions taxes, they had to give up their town and go to cheapest factions town. I hope the remove of faction and the new town loyalty will help the community. I know there need to be a kind of PvP system but I hope it will be more a kind of good vs evil.

Siege had been UO’s step child for many years, now it seem like Devs have seen, something is working right on Siege. The economy is healthy and the community are very strong. We have very few system rules to control our action but we rarely need help from GM’s and the hate between red and blue don’t really exist on Siege.

Even when we are enemies on the field, we can still make events like the Graduation of NEW2 members and Ladra’s BOOM party and be together in a more friendly way.

I’m sure we had a lot more changes but this was the worse and the best :)

Next: Part 2 of the interview continues with Freja’s memories of NEW and perspective on NEW2.

Join the Discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/frejas-interview-the-early-years.304054/

Perilous Inquirer – Fourth Issue

August 30, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Fourth Issue
July 26, 2013

KING BLACKTHORN – FAKE or ZOMBIE?
We Report, You Decide
Make no mistake about it. Lord Blackthorn was slain by Lord British in Ultima IX. This can be confirmed by anyone who played Ultima IX or by checking numerous sources including ultimacodex.com, ultima.wikia.com, wikipedia.org, rpgplanet.com, etc.
So, is this just some imposter claiming to be our lawfully appointed king?
Or is our nosiest reporter, Lord Pinocchio, on to something when he says, “I smell zombie!”
What do You think?

FUNNY ONE LINER
A seal walks into a club….

LILITH Interview
by Kattasrophe (age 12)
Lilith, 27, is the guild leader of SCUM, he loves to PvP. He likes to decorate as a pasttime from PvPing. He also likes scouting the lands for people who have shiny things (people with good items.)
He also said in the interview that his sister, Lloth, likes to farm and PvP (Lloth is Lilith.) He said it wouldn’t be long before she turned red herself.
I asked him what was his most happiest moment here he answered, “The day I killed Forsaken farming in Covetous and I took his stuff.”
Lilith is actually a really nice person but if you have something nice or shiny (something that’s good) or if he’s just bored, he will kill you.
Hope you enjoyed reading the article :)

SAINT’S SHOETORIUM
Chumlee says, “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”
His collection totals nearly a hundred pairs and includes shoes from Damnation, Freja, Hoffs, Miranda, Morgan Ironfist, Sara Dale and Parium the Black.
“I do this because when I was a kid we were so poor I had to wear cow patties as shoes. You try getting a date, standing in that stuff.”

COIN DES POETES
(translation wanted)
Une jolie epousette a Tours
Voulait de gig-gig tous les jours.
Mais le mari disait, “Non!
De trop n’est pas bon!
Mon derriere exige du secours!”

CLASSIFIEDS
Chumlee is looking for shoes! Any kind will work (must be unblessed) and he prefers to take them off of your dead body. Got shoes? Then your gear is safe!

The Perilous Inquirer
Published by The Perilous Inquirer & Liquor Mart
“Where news & booze go hand in hand”
Address: 3rd house on left out the Luna south gate. (Sealed copies of the current issue are on the steward, next to the liquor vendor.)
Editor: DeadBob
Reporters: Kattasrophe, Otero, Pinocchio.
Reporters Wanted! Submit stories to [email protected]
Red Leaf Supplier: Camriel
Lawsuits: Dewey Cheatum & Howe

A special shout-out to Ilexia: “Thanks neighbor! Your support is appreciated :)”

~sine die~

Join the Discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-fourth-issue.302428/

Perilous Inquirer – Third Issue

August 29, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Third Issue
July 19, 2013

“blah” DECLARES WAR ON EVERYBODY
Too New To Defend Themselves
Lilith says it’s fine by her.  Brand new NEW2 newbs have reportedly lost their birth suits when ganked by NBK members bravely singing, Brave Sir Robin.
“Any new, minimum statistic, unequipped player who turns his or her back on a gang of NBK is looking for a stomping,” said Trix.
“She gets so excited she soils her armor,” Sugar Smacks noted from upwind.

UO GMs NOT CANNIBALS SAYS UO
UO spokesperson Woot Woot Barney today denounced as “mere speculation” reports that GMs lured players into a Tokuno wooded area for an Iron Chef Competition.
“They were the chefs,” Diablo accuses, “And we were the ingredients.”
This reporter stared at the veteran player, as he leaned noticeably to the left in the saddle. “What happened?” I asked.
“It was horrible. Some of us followed runes marked ‘Good Food’ to a woods. We were jumped by GMs wearing chef’s hats & carrying cleavers. They slaughtered several people I knew and popped them into open ovens. Then they danced around adding spices and chanting, ‘Kick-it-up-a-notch.'”
“They chased me,” Diablo said, “Yelling, ‘Get that one! He’s already half baked.'” The big man shifted uncomfortably in his saddle, leaned left again and fixed me with his steely eyes. “I can show you proof,” he said.  Diablo looked around carefully.
Then he dismounted and mooned me.
OMG! His left buttock is missing!
“They almost got me,” he said. “It was real close, I tell you.”
But UO spokesperson Woot Woot, even when confronted with this eye witness testimony, dismissed it derisively, saying only, “Well, that evidence is half-arsed, ain’t it?”

TINA TINK interview
– by Kattasrophe (Age 12)
Tina Tink, 58, is the guild leader of NEW2. She likes doing a little bit of everything ranging from helping people, crafting and fighting. Tina says one of her favorite things is doing the graduation ceremonies.
Tina says her sister, Freja (who is also Tina) is a much better fighter than her. She says one time she was mining in Britain and a bunch of thieves ordered all the miners to give them their jewels and ingots. “Two of the newbies went red that day,” said Tina.
Tina said one of the most important things she does is helping others anyway she can.

NOTE
Found on a body in the streets of Luna:  “I can’t take it anymore. I’m going for a walk.”

POETS CORNER
The ghosts on Siege ain’t the dead,
They’re the living you never see.
PKs who lose their heads
Are more alive than chars you can’t see.

CLASSIFIEDS
Chumlee is looking for shoes! Any kind will work (must be unblessed) and he prefers to take them off of your dead body.
Got shoes?
Then your gear is safe!

The Perilous Inquirer
Reporting on Siege Life
Address: 3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
(Sealed copies of the current issue are on the steward.)
Publisher: The ROFLtimes
Editor: DeadBob
Reporters: Kattasrophe, Otero.
Reporters Wanted! Submit stories to [email protected]
Lawsuits: Dewey Cheatum & Howe

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-third-issue.302108/

Perilous Inquirer – Second Issue

August 28, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Second Issue
July 12, 2013

THIEVES AUCTION
“On Your Side” and his girl friend “Up Yours” held a Purloined Auction yesterday in the Luna bank. At auction were pairs of scissors, bits of food and a pile of loomable (they swore) navel lint. “It took us weeks to steal all this,” said On Your Side.
Proceeds go to (they swear) to their fund for the widows & orphans of alien abductees.

OVERHEARD
in the Luna Lounge
Dionysis: “Hey! I gotta leak in my new cup!
Camriel: “Go ahead, it’s your cup.”

INTERVIEW Jack Straw
by Kattasrophe (age 12)
Jack Straw, 39, is a pirate and guild member of arrr who likes to PvP and role play.
Jack said that the leader of his guild, Parium, is very good. He also said Captain Sureno was a leader, and a very good one too.
Jack said his father was a bushido warrior, so he decided to become a swash buckler.
Jack spends most of his time drinking rum and thinking of past things he has done. As for things he likes to do it would be pvping, roleplay, t-maps and sailing the land.
Until my next interview with someone, thank you for reading about Jack Straw!
[Editor’s note: Hope you enjoyed this interview :) Katt died twice getting it.]

POET’S CORNER
The Moose Song
Oh, gorillas are fun on a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers can put up a fight,
But it’s not quite the same when I ram their caboose,
As the feeling I get when I hump on a moose.
– Robbed Roy

The CyBERNAUTS GUIDE
has This to say about Rules
There is only one rule: Anyone who tells you of a rule wants something from you.

HEALTH WARNING
The Ter Mur Surgeon General has determined that the current craze of breast feeding pigeons in the Queen’s Park is hazardous to your health.

FEATURED MALL
I4NI Vendors
53S,164E New Magincia
“Remember folks, at I4NI we cheat the Other guy & pass the savings on to You!”
 – Baby Doll

The Perilous Inquirer
A Meretricious Publication Reporting on Siege Life
Address: 3rd house on left out the Luna south gate
Publisher: The ROFLtimes
Editor: DeadBob
Reporters: Kattasrophe, Otero, Subzero
Reporters Wanted! Submit stories to [email protected]
Lawsuits: Dewey Cheatum & Howe

Many thanks to the supporters of The Perilous Inquirer for their gifts, their time and their encouragement:
Dionysis  Camriel  Nurse Miss Maude  Lord Waynbo  Kage Venator  & the Denizens of Siege Perilous!

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-second-issue.301839/

Perilous Inquirer – First Edition

August 27, 2013 By: DeadBob Stratics Category: Siege Perilous News

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, First Edition
July 4th, 2013

SIAMESE TWINS SPOTTED
A Canadian / Erotic Dancer was reported by members of the guild, Do-Right Knights (DoRK) who attempted to break up what appeared to be public coitus in the men’s room at Luna bank Thursday evening. When the increasingly angry couple could not be separated, a GM was summoned and it was discovered that the game had accidently fused the two characters at login.
“Ahhh. The old Siamese Twin bug,” GM Chevy explained.
(See next issue for screen shots.)

OLD2 RESURRECTED
The guild OLD has reappeared on Siege. Dedicated to helping players who have only 30 days to live, OLD2 provides exiting players with dynamic ways to divest themselves of worldly possessions.
“Go Naked Into The Light” is their motto and often the last thing members hear.

ELECTROSHOCK CLINIC OPENS
Nurse Miss Maude has announced the opening of her Electroshock Therapy Clinic in Exodus Lair.
“Patients plugged directly into the power source display amazing reactions,” said NM Maude. “You can see some of them on the videos in our gift shop.”

POETS CORNER
I wish I were a diamond ring
upon my Lulu’s hand,
Everytime she scratched her butt
I’d see the promised land.
– Robbed Roy, Poet, circa 1650

LETTERS
to the Editor
“Can you help me get started?”
– Atlantic Immigrant
“Sure. Join NEW2, play the game, contribute to the community.”
– Editor

“Why are house pads spawning all over?”
– DumFounded Vet
“They are unlikely to become full blown houses. According to EA Spokesperson Muddles Galore, production shard players with little interest in Siege Perilous have been permitted to place a 2nd house on Siege Perilous. Responding to criticism that most of these players are unlikely to give up the soft life on their home shard to work hard on Siege and actually build a house here, the EA Spokesperson fled.”
– Editor

Letters to the Editor may be dropped into the mailbox at DeadBob’s, 3rd house on the left out the Luna south gate.
No profanity please (Sorry, Rick Rude :p)

The Perilour Inquirer
A Meretricious Publication Reporting on Siege Life
Editor: DeadBob
Reporters: Wanted! Submit stories to [email protected]
 Lawsuits: Dewey Cheatum & Howe
A subsidiary of the ROFL Times, online gaming’s oldest newspaper.

Historical note:
In 1994, online games were played over long distance phone lines. The ROFLtimes was published weekly in Sierra’s game, INN / ImagiNation Network, until the game’s demise in March of 1995 and over the years since has appeared occasionally on UO Atlantic.
If any old INN players see this, we’d love to hear from you. – db

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-first-edition.301603/