The Art of Grovelling

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Professions – The Beggar


The Art of Grovelling; by Scrumpy Jack

So yer think that beggars are useless low-lives who have nothing better to do and no skills to keep them out of
trouble? Yer better think again or leave it, since I will tell yer what a real beggar’s life is like anyway.

First off, knowing how to beg is a skill only silly posh people don’t see as useful. It’s true, everybody can learn how
to beg. Yer don’t need any other skills for being successful with yer scrounging, because only yer begging skill
determines, if yer get anything of them towns-people or not.

Not everybody in town yer can beg of right away, mind! Yer need to be a master beggar before them shopkeepers will give yer a single gold coin, but otherwise yer can try everybody of those people who normally just stand or walk around and don’t seem to do anything all day long. Yer need to beg of a lot of people though to get better at yer skill. If yer begging does not improve when yer asking a NPC for a donation, move on to the next one. Unsuccessfully begging of the same person over and over again won’t get yer anywhere in the end and sure is boring!

There are some dodgy people in the towns, calling themselves “beggar” and sell their knowledge of the skill to everybody with some cash in the backpack. If yer don’t have any pride, go and talk to them to show yer the first
things about begging and yer can start making some money right away. Yer will see that the bit of money yer spent for the introduction in the skill will be repaid in no time!

Begging is somewhat slow though. Yer have to wait about ten seconds before yer can move on to yer next target, but that’s alright, since yer can use the spare time to count the gold yer already got or watch some paint dry. If one of them towns-people is willing to part with their money, it depends on how trustworthy yer seem how much they will give. Some people call it karma, I call it bluffing. The higher yer “karma” is the more money they will give. There is another catch with that karma thing, of course. Yer will loose some karma every time yer beg. So either don’t care about it or find something to do that will raise karma again.

If yer go cadging them elves yer won’t get any money of them but stuff they don’t need anymore instead. It’s up to yer if yer want any of it. It seems like them elves throw half their household at yer when being ask for some gold.

This is what I got of them so far

  • Water Pitcher (normal and reversed)
  • French Bread
  • Lantern
  • Pizza
  • Bowl of Stew
  • Wedge of Cheese
  • Bunch of Dates
  • Shirt
  • Pitcher of Liquor (normal and reversed)
  • Bottle of Wine
  • Flower Garland (normal and reversed)
  • Bedroll
  • Plate of Cookies
  • Fishing Pole
  • Fish Steak (cooked)
  • Turnip
  • Sake

Some of this stuff they part easier with than other. The first two on the list make about 75% of what yer get. The second bunch yer get about 24% of the time, and the last bits from “Bottle of Wine” to “Sake” yer only get for about 1% of all yer hard work. Why they are so tight with their cookies beats me … they are not really tasty anyway.

Apparently they are very, very cagey with the sake. I guess that’s because they have to import it from Tokuno … or they’re just drunks keeping the best for themselves. While these things might look like the normal stuff yer can find elsewhere, there is a tiny detail about them that makes them special: looking at them yer will find a little label “Acquired by Begging”. As if those elves want to rub it in everybody’s face that yer didn’t pay for it. The bedroll though is a bit strange: when yer put it on the floor and unfold it, it will loose its “Acquired by Begging” label and just look like any other old bedroll. Somebody once told me it’s got something to do with bugs or something like that, but my bedroll was clean when I got it and therefore I think he just took me on. So be careful if yer want to keep things as they are!

Even if yer don’t want all that junk it’s still worth going to that Heartwood place for begging, especially when yer still training yer begging skill. There are so many elves hanging around on that tree, yer will have no problem to constantly beg and get a lot of free food at the same time! Just do the rounds there for a while and not only will yer know all them elves by name then, yer will probably find some stuff left behind on the floor by all them human craftspeople who like to hang around in trees as well. Sometimes that’s better than the elfish crockery …

Not all towns-folk will give yer money or items they got from Auntie Marge for their last birthday. Some right out refuse to give anything, no matter how skilled yer might be. Don’t fret over this, though. These people are even poorer than yer are, which shows in their lack of a backpack. Just move on to the next person yer meet.

Speaking of being poor. What kind of people become beggars anyway? Don’t answer that, it was only a rhetorical question, silly! I will answer it …

Actually, everybody can end up on the streets. No matter what other skills yer might have or if yer have no others at all. Begging is one of the only really independent skills in Sosaria, so if yer like yer can be a barding beggar, a fighting beggar, a magical one or what-have-you. Yer will find some nice ideas here. There yer will also learn everything about why begging is the only good skill in Sosaria and everything else is not. Yer really want to have a look!

And what if yer bored of just begging of them tight-lipped towns people and fancy to talk to more lively folks? Well, here yer on yer own. Be creative with it. Yer need to have a good story to tell when yer want those hard-earned gold coins of those who can come to and leave Sosaria at their own will. Be insistent, put on a show and never let rudeness hush yer away. Yer have nothing to loose! Everybody can beat up a smelly dragon, but nobody except a beggar can make a Necromancer part with his money willingly! Just make sure everybody knows yer a Grandmaster Beggar and even people riding on silly polar bears will be impressed!

Last modified: February 11, 2013

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