The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Fifteenth Issue
October 11, 2013

HALLOWEEN UO
– by Kattasrophe (age 12)
Halloween is here,
Time for candy, tricks & cheer.
A rustling of a tree?
Oh No! Reds are chasing after me!
Now my candy is all gone, A thief stole it, which was a ton.
Candy, arrows and smoke bombs in the air
Splattered. Is a Vampire there?!
Run, Run, as fast as you can,
I think I see the Headless Horseman!

ONCE UPON A TIME
before UO, there were the Ultima box games.
Ultima 5 included a massage & gaming parlour below Bucs Den. If you paid for a massage, you blacked out & awoke with all your belongings missing.
There is still a hole in the ground in UO, behind the Buccaneer’s Bath house at 38,40Sx95,54E that will drop you into those old caverns.

HAWKEYE PIKE
 – From a forthcoming interview with the founder of UO’s oldest pirate guild, The United Pirates of Catskills.
“To me, the first step to enjoying pirate role-play is to free yourself from the item-equipment-treadmill. Make a new character, get some cheap pirate equipment and get into a pirate mood! Try to stay in character most of the time. This makes you authentic.
Try to strike a balance between being an evil pirate and not annoying other players too much. If you stay in character, people will understand that your swearing, bad manners and harsh words are no personal affront against other players, but actually the attributes of your character in game.”

OCTOBER 22nd DEADLINE
for submitting your limerick to Arrr’s Limerick Contest.
You can win incredibly rare & useful items. Details at: http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/limerick-contest-announced.305363/ Or ask Arrr for a book about it.

SCAM WARNING
According to UO spokesperson Ira Strait, “There are no, let me repeat, NO pornographic pumpkins. Rumors about a rare ‘yin & yang’ carving kit from the Yamato shard are fabricated scams. Do NOT pay for one of those.
You really feel foolish afterwards, if you do.”

TREASURE HUNT
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Monthly Treasure Hunt is 3:PM EST, Saturday, October 19.
The coordinates of the Treasure Box will be revealed on general chat. Up for grabs this time is a pair of Kelp Leggings. I will give you the coordinates of the box, but what facet it is on is up to you to figure out.
First one to the spot gets the prize, which will be in a blue wooden box placed at the spot.
– Ilexia of Waterfalls Bridge Shop

HALLOWEEN STEWARD
Just say “Trick or Treat” at the front door of the Perilous Inquirer.

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Lawsuits: Dewey, Cheatum & Howe
Published by the ROFLTimes.com

~sine die~

Join the discussion at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-fifteenth-issue.306127/