The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 44th Issue
May 2, 2014

SIEGE SCENES
<> Strange outgrowths erupting in Barter Town. See screen shots at:
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/like-us-or-hate-us-were-here-to-stay.315157/
<> Hand Of DooM, standing in Luna, offering for sale a signed edition of the bible.
<> “Women,” Grimlex snorted. “I tried to be polite and hold the door open for one, but she kept screaming, “I’m peeing in here!”

SIEGE CHANTY
We sail the seas of Perilous, to seek the Serpent Pillar,
The cannons are manned by the best of us, but a drunk is at the tiller.
We’re good men all, except the lass, and she’s good sooner than later.
We were having a ball & kickin’ ass when a ‘gator ate the navigator,
Then a gale came up and & the sails grew fat, and the Captain swore a pledge,
“I’ll save us lads, though the map be flat,” and we sailed right off the edge.
– DeadBob ©2013

JACK CORDWOOD, BOWER
Jack won the Siege Hunting Joke contest when he was given the word Timbuktu and 2 minutes to make up a poem to win. After thoughtfully scratching himself, Jack came out with,
“Me and Tim a huntin we went met three gals in a pop up tent they was three and we was two so i bucked one and Timbuktu.”
Buy Jack Cordwood Bows! Sheer poetry in Archery!

PROMOTE YOUR VENDOR
Count on us to help promote your vendor with an ad in the weekly paper. Leave a message for me here (keep, it short), or drop a book with a one page ad in my mailbox at  the Perilous Inquirer. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday for the issue that comes out Friday.

HOROSCOPE
Taurus Apr 20 – May 20
The aliens that abducted you will want their probe back.

TRIVIA MONK
To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & answer this question:
“In what bank can you NOT mark a rune?”

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 44th Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Free current issues are on the “News” steward. Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.” Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Advisor: York
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-44th-issue.315295/