[News] The Forest Strikes Back!

July 25, 2013 By: Faeryl Category: Atlantic News

Sunday evening, the Vesper Mint was a scene of chaos as the city was invaded by angered woodland fae. The chaos began with a courtyard caller shouting a sales pitch about a machine called the Biggering Chopper. “A Wonder of Modern Mechanical Engineering! The Biggering Chopper will rid you of all your nature woes! No job is too big!”

Before long, creatures of the surrounding forests appeared, and enraged, began attacking the curious crowd that had gathered around the caller. The situation worsened when the creatures were joined by the woodland fae, and in the confusion, the city guards began attacking those who were merely attempting to defend themselves from a seemingly unprovoked attack.

As the commotion was finally dying down, another creature appeared, though this one, called Borax the Treebeard, seemed more interested in speaking with us rather than attacking. “I regret these actions, however maybe now I have your attention?”

Borax told us that we had done a great harm to the forest and the creatures that he cares for. He told us that he had pleaded with the machine to stop, but that it did not listen, and hoped that after that attack, that we would. He claimed that this machine had killed hundreds of trees, and that he could not allow us to harm the forest in such a way. He pleaded with us to put a stop to the destruction. “Do it for the trees!”

Though Borax wasn’t sure where this machine was, he made it clear that if we did not destroy it, he would return again with an even greater threat. With that, the creature Borax left us to our task.

The Biggering Chopper was soon found in a clearing between Britain and the moongate. It’s creator, one Aleksandre Biggering, was also present. Upon seeing such a large crowd of potential customers, Aleksandre immediately began shouting his sales pitch, claiming that our chopping days were over and for the low price of 900,000,000gold, one could rent his machine. He claimed that given a fortnight, he could clear Yew of trees, and clear enough land for everyone to build their own castle.

Though there was some protest, Aleksandre responded to it by announcing that trees were the enemy, that he only listened to paying customers, and then proceeded to ask if we wished to see the Chopper in action. “Back, up! Give it some space!” After a quietly mumbled warning about fair warning and a release of liability, Aleksandre approached his machine, pushed a button, and ran as the Chopper hummed and buzzed for a moment, and then without warning, began to attack the crowd.

Throughout the entire battle with the Chopper, Aleksandre kept trying to convince us how wonderful his creation was, and how it was completely worth the outrageous price he asked to rent. It wasn’t until the Chopper was finally destroyed that Aleksandre Biggering seemed to realize he was in trouble. “Looks like I need to go. Before the governor comes.”

With the Biggering Chopper destroyed, the forest is safe once again. Each individual tree that helps to make up the forests of Britannia are more important than some may realize. Not only to the creatures that inhabit them, but also to our own prosperity and wellbeing. Please take from nature only what is needed, for taking in excess will inevitably do more harm than good.

Faeryl Tyr’athem
Atlantic News Reporter
Knight Major of the Crux Ansata

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