First, a list of the supplies you will need: a dye tub dyes 21 pieces of cloth a pair of scissors a pair of sandals a bonnet a tricorn hat 2 balls of yarn, style “B” (see picture) 5 balls of yarn, style “C” (see picture) 1 lantern 2 death robes 7 “spacers” (I recommend fishstakes) Access to a black dye tub

Before starting construction, take 3 cloth, and dye them yellow or gold. Cut these 3 cloth into bandages. Take the remaining 18 cloth, and dye them red (or blue for Counselors, green for Seers, etc.). Cut these into bandages. Remember to dye the cloth BEFORE you cut it into bandages – bandages can’t be dyed; cloth can. Dye your tricorn hat, and all of your yarn the same color as your 18 cloth. NOTE: this can be a bit tricky. If you use the same dye as the cloth, yarn and the hat will naturally dye darker than the cloth, and will look odd on the “GM.” Try lightening up the dye at least one shade – this will take a bit of experimentation to get it just right (hey, just like in college!). Finally, dye your bonnet black.

Now, before you start, you will need to decide on the location you wish to place your “brand-new OSI representative”. His or her creation actually requires 3 tiles, in an “L” configuration. Do not plan on standing him right next to a table, or other such items – it will not work, graphically. For a display of the needed tile arrangement, see the diagram below – your “GM” will eventually appear to be standing on tile #1.

Once you’ve decided where to place your GM, we’ll start by doing construction on tile #3 first, as it will be nearly impossible to access later on.

For tile #3, we’ll be working with balls of yarn. Balls of yarn are available from NPC tailors in 3 different styles (see diagram below) – you will only need styles “B” and “C”, as labeled in the diagram. For tile #3, we’ll be using style “C”. Place 2 spacers on tile #3, followed by a death robe. On top of the death robe, stack 1 style “C” yarn, and lock it down. Stack a second single style “C” yarn on top of this one, and lock it down as well. Remember – you’ll need to be quick when locking down items on top of a death robe, as the death robe will decay in 60 seconds. If you mess this up, curse, rinse, repeat. When the death robe decays, the two balls of yarn should appear to “float” in midair. You can then remove the spacers, or leave them to decay – your choice.

Next, we’ll work with tile #2, which is done very similar to tile #3. Stack 5 spacers on tile #2, followed by a death robe. Next, lock down a lantern on top of the robe. Follow with a stack of 2 balls of yarn, style “B”, and lock these down. Lock down a second stack of 2 balls of yarn, style “B”, on top of the first. Note that tile #3 uses single balls of yarn; tile #2 uses stacks of 2. Don’t get these confused! Wait for the death robe to decay, and if your yarn and lantern are floating correctly, remove the spacers.

Finally, we move to tile #1. Now, lock down a pair of sandals on tile #1, followed by a stack of 2 yellow bandages, and 5 stacks of 2 red bandages. Next, lock down your single remaining yellow bandage. Third, lock down 3 more stacks of 2 red bandages. After that, lock down a single red bandage on top, and a second single red bandage on top of that. Using single bandages rather than stacks of 2 where noted will give your “GM”‘s body some shape (if only it were so easy in real life! But then… bandages seem to have a lot of mystical qualities in UO… I don’t remember a Band-Aid bringing anybody back from the dead, either…)

Now, after you’ve stacked your bandages as listed above, stack your final remaining piece of yarn, style “B” on top of the bandages, and lock it down. Follow this with the bonnet, and finally, the tricorn hat. Lock both of these down, and voila! Your GM is no longer stuck “Entering Britannia…”; it’s ALIVE (and just as lively as the real ones)!

Pretend to page him, and be surprised when he instantly appears! Hug him, love him, make him your own! Or…

…use him in evil, devilish pranks on your friends and enemies! These include…

…when you see the exact spot where a friend of yours logs out for the night, build the “GM” standing right next to him for when he or she logs in for the next day, and scare the hell out of ’em! (actually performed in-game – as Shogun of MarkeeDragon.com will attest!) 😉

…hide a comm crystal somewhere near the “GM”, and when you know someone is in the area, “transmit” over the crystal “I’m sorry; I cannot help you with that.” Sends players into horrible flashbacks… fun at parties!

Enjoy!

*goes off to play with his own “GM!”*

Vengence
Baron, Curator of the Dawn Museum of Dreams
Baja shard