The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, First Edition
July 4th, 2013

SIAMESE TWINS SPOTTED
A Canadian / Erotic Dancer was reported by members of the guild, Do-Right Knights (DoRK) who attempted to break up what appeared to be public coitus in the men’s room at Luna bank Thursday evening. When the increasingly angry couple could not be separated, a GM was summoned and it was discovered that the game had accidently fused the two characters at login.
“Ahhh. The old Siamese Twin bug,” GM Chevy explained.
(See next issue for screen shots.)

OLD2 RESURRECTED
The guild OLD has reappeared on Siege. Dedicated to helping players who have only 30 days to live, OLD2 provides exiting players with dynamic ways to divest themselves of worldly possessions.
“Go Naked Into The Light” is their motto and often the last thing members hear.

ELECTROSHOCK CLINIC OPENS
Nurse Miss Maude has announced the opening of her Electroshock Therapy Clinic in Exodus Lair.
“Patients plugged directly into the power source display amazing reactions,” said NM Maude. “You can see some of them on the videos in our gift shop.”

POETS CORNER
I wish I were a diamond ring
upon my Lulu’s hand,
Everytime she scratched her butt
I’d see the promised land.
– Robbed Roy, Poet, circa 1650

LETTERS
to the Editor
“Can you help me get started?”
– Atlantic Immigrant
“Sure. Join NEW2, play the game, contribute to the community.”
– Editor

“Why are house pads spawning all over?”
– DumFounded Vet
“They are unlikely to become full blown houses. According to EA Spokesperson Muddles Galore, production shard players with little interest in Siege Perilous have been permitted to place a 2nd house on Siege Perilous. Responding to criticism that most of these players are unlikely to give up the soft life on their home shard to work hard on Siege and actually build a house here, the EA Spokesperson fled.”
– Editor

Letters to the Editor may be dropped into the mailbox at DeadBob’s, 3rd house on the left out the Luna south gate.
No profanity please (Sorry, Rick Rude :p)

The Perilour Inquirer
A Meretricious Publication Reporting on Siege Life
Editor: DeadBob
Reporters: Wanted! Submit stories to [email protected]
 Lawsuits: Dewey Cheatum & Howe
A subsidiary of the ROFL Times, online gaming’s oldest newspaper.

Historical note:
In 1994, online games were played over long distance phone lines. The ROFLtimes was published weekly in Sierra’s game, INN / ImagiNation Network, until the game’s demise in March of 1995 and over the years since has appeared occasionally on UO Atlantic.
If any old INN players see this, we’d love to hear from you. – db

Join the discussion at
http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-first-edition.301603/