The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Eleventh Issue
September 13, 2013

UPCOMING EVENTS
The Pirates Guild, Arrr, is hinting of a celebration to coincide with the grand opening of their new “Pirates Cove.” Our cub scouts have reported recent shipments of gigantic hogsheads of rum, gigantic headless hogs, tons of turnip greens and huge bales of freshly harvested aloe vera leaf, a remarkably powerful laxative, all being carted into the new settlement.
More about this event to come as our intrepid reporter, Kattasrophe, seeks answers.

At Last Weeks Events: Zaine won NBT’s Scavenger Hunt despite every single word on the list being a word-jumble
Igg a pie of TGIF guild found the Arcane Crown at the Papua Tinkers’ Shop to win Ilexia’s Treasure Hunt.

THE PIRATE SONG
Against convention we rebel to sail the sea of briny foam,
We drink with daemons straight from hell and chase their asses home.

The waves be drunk and so are we, the moon be high and so are we,
We’re sinful dirty pirates and we’re sailing to be free.

We’ll blow y’re ship to smithereens, board y’re women and belay y’re men,
We’ll sink y’re bloody brigantines and haul y’re treasure to our den.

So flee the hull that flies the skull or Davy Jones will pick y’re bones.
Cannon balls and boarding brawls are winsome cheers to buccaneers.
–  © 2010 by GD Deckard (DeadBob)

ONCE UPON A TIME IN UO
When moongates were unstable, a moongate could fail and you would find yourself standing on a platform in the ocean.
To escape, you had to slip by a revolving iron grate and enter a white moongate. Today, that platform is still there, though it is now used only by savvy seafarers who can sail to where the 4 corners of the map touch. There, if you can figure out how to get onto the platform, you can still enter that white moongate and discover a journey of old.
– Thanks to Camaenion for the history bit

ASK SEVERN
Ten Toes asks: Everyone seems so angry all of a sudden! Have I gone crazy or are they really mad?
Dear Ten Toes: Good news! You’re not crazy! I suggest all towns invest in Prozac salt licks to help solve peoples anger issues. Bad news, you only have nine toes….

CLASSIFIEDS
Siege Estates
Its a even hotter day than the other days boiling yet Siege Estates sends you a cool breeze now on sale at vendors near you Siege Estates Vendor Edition 2.0. Don’t be left dry an thirsty when you can have a nice cold bottle of booze. Drink Responsibly, Cheers!
– Grimlex

Waterfall Bridge Shop
Located within the guard zone at the waterfall across the bridge from Justice shrine Northwest of Yew at coordinates 95″49′ N x 0″54’E
♥Love All, serve All♥
– Your Pixel Crush

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Contributor: Severn

~sine die~

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