Dilfred Dumphry Meets the Girl Scouts
EM Sangria

Dilfred Dumphry here! Today I met the most evil, vicious band of thugs that I’ve ever had the honor of meeting. That’s right; I met the Girl Scouts of Baja.

It all started while I was sleeping. I had this weird dream that someone was sobbing about cookies. Then I woke up and heard…

Alouenikah: *sobs* G-girl scout c-c-cookies for sale in Luna.

Alouenikah: *sobs* P-please buy some cookies. Please? Please…?

*What the…? So I head over to Luna and watch from the safety of a dark corner.*

Girl Scout Edith: Aloueneka ordered 357 cookies

Alouenikah: *is wearing a girl scout uniform, selling cookies, and crying.*

Girl Scout Edith: made em and now he backs out.

Alouenikah: please buy my cookies

Girl Scout Leona: Come buy some cookies from Girl Scout Alouenikah. He needs all the help he can get!

Alouenikah: don’t make me stand here all day

Girl Scout Edith: SO we made him put on a uniform

Alouenikah: *sobs* f-four hundred gold pieces per pan

Girl Scout Edith: and he is not trying to sell them.. very well.

Alouenikah: *sobs* they’re very deliciou

Alouenikah: …delicious…

Alouenikah: I’m trying!

Alouenikah: What do you want me to do?!

Girl Scout Edith: shave your legs might help

Girl Scout Edith: How can anyone order 357 pans of cookies and not remember!

Girl Scout Leona: He ordered 357 pans of cookies

Girl Scout Leona: and refuses to pay for them

Alouenikah: *is crying*

Girl Scout Leona: so we are making him sell cookies in Luna

Girl Scout Edith: sell them!

Alouenikah: I didn’t do it.

Alouenikah: I wouldn’t do such.

Alouenikah: I didn’t.

Girl Scout Leona: if you buy 1 pan from him

Alouenikah: *sob*

Girl Scout Leona: it may cheer him up

Girl Scout Leona: they are only 400 gp

Girl Scout Edith: *giggles at a grown old man in a uniform crying*

Alouenikah: *sob sob*

Alouenikah: leendeeeeeh

Alouenikah: *sob*

*Finally Alouenikah gets a customer…*

Alouenikah: Th-that will be one hundred gold pieces please.

Girl Scout Edith: no no no

Girl Scout Leona: 400gp

Alouenikah: What?

Girl Scout Edith: 400 gold pieces!

Alouenikah: No!

Girl Scout Leona: Four hundred Gold pieces

Alouenikah: One hundred!

Girl Scout Edith: Yes!

Girl Scout Edith: Four!

Alouenikah: I am the salesman!

Alouenikah: I want to sell for one hundred!

Girl Scout Leona: but we set the price

Girl Scout Edith: you owe us 130,000 gold pieces

Alouenikah: I will not stand for this!!

Alouenikah: This is an indignity!

Alouenikah: *tries to think how Lindae would act in this situation*

Alouenikah: …

Girl Scout Leona: *straightens skirt*

Alouenikah: *sets the cookies on fire!!*

Girl Scout Edith: so is ordering cookies form the scouts and not paying!

Alouenikah: Vas Flam – Fireball

Girl Scout Edith: SELL

Alouenikah: COOKIES

Girl Scout Edith: SELL!!!!

Priscilla: Thou art giving me food?

Priscilla: This tasteth good.

Priscilla: I thank thee.

Ryder: Thou art giving me food?

Ryder: This tasteth good.

Ryder: I thank thee.

Girl Scout Leona: you owe us Aloue!!

Belinda: Thou art giving me food?

Belinda: This tasteth good.

Belinda: I thank thee.

Girl Scout Leona: How can you be so mean to the Girl Scouts like this

Alouenikah: *hyperventilates*

Alouenikah: *falls down in a heap*

Alouenikah: x_x

Girl Scout Edith: We spent a week making those!

Girl Scout Edith: a whole week!

Alouenikah: x_x

Girl Scout Leona: I even burned two of my fingers on the hot pans!

Girl Scout Edith: *glares at the pudding lump on the ground*

Girl Scout Leona: I cried!

Girl Scout Edith: she did!

Alouenikah: *runs through Luna naked but for a cap and sandals*

Girl Scout Edith: eeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Alouenikah: *shrieks hysterically*

Girl Scout Leona: is paralyzed with fear*

Okay. That was fun. I now know the Girl Scouts are sweet, cute and innocent, but as Alouenikah found out, if you steal their cookies, they will go rabid on you! *makes note to self, never steal Girl Scout cookies*

As usual, when I think the show was over, it isn’t.

The Town Crier began to yell about raiders in New Magincia. Not long after that, the Girl Scouts start crying for help. Guess where they went? Guess what they died to? But more importantly, guess what got looted?

Enter Girl Scouts on a mission!

After many corpses later…

Victory! However….

Errr… why would she want to get another one?

Oh. Silly me.

This is Dilfred Dumphry with an important lesson to all – beware of the Girl Scouts!