[EM Event] Is Dinner Supposed To Walk Off?

Faine walked in the back door, kicked off her shoes and flopped in the chair huffing in annoyance. She still couldn’t believe Fio had banned her from the kitchen. Just because of one or two little fires; just nuisances really. Heck, the fire department had only had to be called on one and even then the soot stains painted right over once the wall was rebuilt. Really, they’d needed a new stove anyway and even Fio had to admit the kitchen looked better in the new design.

It truly wasn’t that Faine couldn’t cook when she put her mind to it. She just tended to get distracted and forget to check whatever was cooking until smoke started drifting out of the oven. She didn’t understand why Fio wouldn’t even let her at least help prepare the food for cooking. What was so difficult about peeling potatoes? Simply because the one time she’d cut the end of her finger and they got delayed visiting the EM Healer to get patched up…

Faine grinned to herself, forgetting to be annoyed for a moment. She just knew her surprise for Christmas dinner would work out wonderfully. When Fio had told her to find something to keep herself amused, Faine had headed straight to Yew to visit Donal the Monk’s library. Sure, Donal had had the little incident with the Mutant Christmas trees a couple of years ago but Faine had heard that he’d discovered a new concoction that actually made it possible to cook hams without glazing them during cooking. The pigs ate a special mixture for several weeks and, once butchered, the hams self glazed as they cooked. The key was taking time to let the pigs fully become infused with the basting formula. Faine knew this was just the ticket for Christmas so she’d whipped up a batch and had put the pigs away in a special pen to fatten up and surprise Fio in a few weeks.

Faine was so busy mulling over meals and hams that it took quite a while for her to realize that the delicious aroma she smelled wafting from the kitchen smelled suspiciously like ham. Cautiously rising from her chair and tiptoeing to the kitchen door she opened it just a crack and saw Fio bent down checking something in the oven.

“Ummmm, Fio,” Faine said tentatively. “That doesn’t smell like turkey.”

Fio straightened up and grinned at Faine, “Nope, I decided that we’d have ham this time instead of turkey. With all the mutant turkeys running around I just wasn’t convinced the meat would be edible. The ham seemed like a much better alternative and I found these nice fat pigs in Yew just wandering around. I thought we’d try it!”

“Yew?” Faine squeaked, “You found them in Yew. Uh, where exactly?”

“Faine, you look a little pale. Are you ok? I found them out near one of the old sheeps pens,” Fio said as she looked at the Faine with concern.

“Fio…I think…well…there’s something you should probably know,” Faine struggled to get out.

Before she could say another word, a strange sound started coming from the oven and the whole kitchen started shaking. As Faine and Fio watched in horror, the door to the oven burst open and out ran a fully basted walking mutant hamhock.

“Oh no, Faine, what did you do?” Fio asked in horror.

“Well,” Faine said, looking sheepish, “maybe we can discuss that later? I think we might need some help from the citizens.”
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Your help is requested on Thursday, December 1st at 6 p.m. PST/9 p.m. EST to round up any mutant hamhocks before true damage occurs. Please meet Fio and Faine at the Counselor’s Guild in West Britain.