The Perilous Inquirer
New Years Issue
January 3, 2014

NEWS FLASH
Acting on his New Year’s Resolution to turn over a new leaf, Diablo has become a nun. He was last seen in a nunnery contemplating his sins, chief amongst them being cross dressing. Asked why he dressed like that, he confessed, “It’s a habit.”

BEING A POOR GIRL ON SIEGE
– by Kattasrophe
I was walking the streets of Moonglow when I spotted a young woman in ragged clothes. Her necklace had the name, “Poor Girl.” I asked her name. She answered, “Call me poor.”
I didn’t see why, “What is it, actually?”
She replied, “Jennifer.”
Taking a check out of my bank, I handed it to her.
In response, she said, “Thank you. This will help me become a Wildlife Manager.”
I could tell by her clothes she was either very new to the lands or had been wandering a long time. Curiosity took over with the question, “What brings you to these lands?” With that, a smile arose on her face.
“Five years ago, I was wandering these lands. All the others had insurance. I hated that. I went in search of a place without it. Siege was my get-away. A few years did pass and I fell into a deep sleep. I just woke up a few days ago.”
I nodded slowly and after giving her some armor, I wished her the best of luck.
[Reporter’s note: This is a true story about Poor Girl in NEW2]

WHY THAT NAME?
– by RueTor
Apollyon: “Apollyon is the name of an ancient god, symbolizing truth, light, justice and necessary evil. It means that a man must become strong before he can be good or evil. Good and evil are impossible without the strength to choose one or the other. Apollyon is the deity that forces this choice onto humans. Apollyon puts humans into situations where they must choose good or evil and then must acquire the strength to bear the burden of the consequence of this choice.  Apollyon is the entity that creates choice and makes it possible for men.”
Lai Tash: “Well it’s simple: both Lai and Tash are my names irl, better don’t ask how it’s even possible.”
Zalfein: “Zalfein first appeared on Catskills, back in the nineties, as a Dark Elf. His name was inspired from the name Zaknafein (father of Drizzt), a drow from R.A. Salvatore-Forgotten Realms novels.”

STOP CONTINENTAL DRIFT
As part of the overall umbrella group, Stop Stuff, dedicated to stopping climate change, teenage sex, drugs, war, cavities, drunk driving, back pain, corporate greed, hunger, ingrown nails, birth defects, crime, pollution, self abuse, discrimination, obesity, hair loss, forest fires, erectile dysfunction and psoriasis, the Stop Continental Drift movement is dedicated to preventing our continents from colliding, again.
“Gold is good,” said Dr. Grant of Donate Now Damnit, “But what we really need are anchors.”

HALL OF PLAYERS
The Siege Hall Of Players is now accepting exhibits. Give an item or a book or a statue with your character’s name on it to Kattasrophe or to Victoria, or drop it into the mailbox at the Perilous Inquirer. Your named items will be used to create your exhibit.
The Hall Of Players is open to all Siege players.

The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 27th Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Free current issues are on the “News” steward. Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.” Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Onomatologist: Rue Tor
Contributors: Apollyon, Lia Tash, Zalfein
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

~sine die~

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http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-new-years-issue-2014.309652/