The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Tenth Issue
September 6, 2013

UPCOMING EVENTS
Ilexia’s Treasure Hunt: 3:PM EST Sat, 7 Sep 13
Location will be announced over General Chat

NBT Scavenger Hunt: 8:PM EST Sat, 7 Sep 13
At the Perilous Inquirer, 3rd house on the left out the Luna south gate.

Planning an Event? Tell us & we’ll help spread the word!

OVERHEARD ON CHAT
“More guys would join if factions had camp followers.”

DEADBOB INTERVIEW
by Kattasrophe, age 12
DeadBob 70, is the guild leader of NEWS. He said, “There are a zillion ways to play UO. Reporting news is one of them. I have another character on Siege and I love it here. It’s a frontier town.”
I asked him, “What do you like most about the people here?”
He says, “People here control themselves based on their needs. There is no law. And I like independent people. Like you and Tang, they take responsibility for their actions.”
I asked him one last question, “What is your favorite thing to do here?”
He says, “The Perilous Inquirer, of course!”
[Editor’s Note: This was supposed to be Ladra’s interview, but she declined.]

WINGUS & DINGUS STRIKE AGAIN
aka Blade Runner and Parker Swiftness, the formerly freelance graverobbers continue to kill & rob people who can’t fight.
Their careers as night diggers ended when they made the mistake of looting Lord Blackthorn’s tomb in Felucca, taking his gold teeth and triggering a hidden Sacrifice spell. The ex-Frenchman resurrected on the spot.
Now, under Blackthorn’s sway, Wingus & Dingus are forced to steal from the dead in order to pay for the King’s leprosy medications.
“You kill carebears & crafters and won’t fight PvPrs. Soooo lame,” Xaphan accused them. “You won’t fight people who can fight back.”
Blade Runner’s response was too long to fit in a forum post, but made no sense anyway.

ASK SEVERN:
Benjamin Gold asks: “I’m a pirate, and I can’t seem to keep my boots dry! Any suggestions?
Dear Pirate Ben, Yes! Stop wearing boots! Instead wear little sponges on your feet so they soak up all the water for you.

PRESIDENT STUMBLES INTO RADIO STATION DRUNK, CONFUSED
President, Viscount Of Yew, and his Rune Beetle, Lucy Borgia, accosted DJ Def of uoRadio.com, demanding an evening of Metallica.
“That’s why you retards suck at PvP,” he explained to noone in particular on Chat. “You said Metallica sucks.”

The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze! Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
Reporter: Kattasrophe
Contributor: Severn

~sine die~

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http://uo2.stratics.com/community/threads/the-perilous-inquirer-tenth-issue.304312/