The Pitmuck Pirate Invasion: The Good News and the Bad News

February 08, 2015 By: Dreadlord Lestat Category: Chesapeake News

Pitmuck Pirate Invasion

Pitmuck Island

February 7, 2015

By Riyana

Rumors of an impending attack on the island of goblins had been circulating for some time, and the notorious Holly Bloodhand herself had been spotted sailing toward Pitmuck. On Saturday, February 7th at 8PM EST, citizens from all over Sosaria gathered in the Vesper Auction House and Tavern to form a defense force and hopefully intercept Bloodhand before she could reach the island.

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The group quickly traveled to a boat near Pitmuck, the captain of which claimed to know Bloodhand’s exact location.

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However, an interception was not to be: before ever spotting Bloodhand OR Pitmuck, a Scalis Enforcer appeared! They hastily sailed on to Pitmuck, where they could form a solid defense against the Scalis, and no sooner had they defeated it than Bloodhand sailed up and boldly stepped off the ship to taunt the crowd.

Oddly, she was alone–the rumored fleet was nowhere to be seen. When asked where her fleet was, she had a peculiar answer:

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Then she did something even more peculiar: she threw mysterious bottles at the defenders.

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She then summoned a harbinger and sailed around the island while the defenders defeated it. Upon its defeat they followed her once more… to find a strange sight. What appeared to be an intact ship’s hold jutted out of the ground as if forced up through the earth. Bloodhand, clearly enjoying herself, made a few cryptic remarks about her so-called uncle, a mage known for his incredibly powerful translocation magics, having put it there for her… and that he could take it away.

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And take it away he apparently did. The hold disappeared, and out poured well over a dozen rune beetles. Holly crowed on about how these were matured Pitmuck pinworms (perhaps all that remained of some of her missing crew?) as the pheromones she’d doused everyone with earlier drove the creatures into a frenzy.

She left the ship a few more times, leading the defenders on a wild chase around the island into two more harbingers and dozens of treasure guardians. It seemed almost as though she was toying with them. Then suddenly, she announced that she had what she’d come for. She sailed away, leaving the defenders confused.

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The answer came quickly. A woman from Nujel’m hurried up to the crowd, out of breath and distraught. She reported dire news indeed: while Pitmuck was being defended, Nujel’m had been overrun by pirates! The group quickly made their way to Nujel’m to find that, indeed, a number of pirates had taken up residence in the city. They found Bloodhand again just before she sailed away, supposedly for a victory drink with her uncle.

Fortunately, many of the defenders were quite familiar with her “uncle”, and had even secured his current location beforehand just in case. They quickly regrouped and headed off in pursuit. Indeed, he was not far at all from Nujel’m…

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Corgul the Soulbinder, or “Uncle Corgul” as Bloodhand calls him, put up quite a fight, but he was no match for the defenders. Unfortunately Bloodhand either never bothered to have that drink with Corgul, or her taunting words were just another misdirection–she was nowhere to be found.

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It was also later discovered that she in fact had made away from Pitmuck with a large supply of ice cream, ostensibly when the defenders were under heavy opposition from her strange army of creatures. 

So the good news: save for the plundering of its ice cream stores, Pitmuck is safe. No permanent damage appears to have been done, and the island is free of pirates.

The bad news: the attack on Pitmuck was only a diversion, and now Nujel’m appears to be under Bloodhand’s control.

What is going on with these “Pitmuck pinworms” and the strange pheromones Bloodhand cooked up? What is she doing in Nujel’m? What will she do next? And what of the ice cream–could this be related to the ice cream theft in Jhelom? Only time will tell, so keep your eyes and ears open!

The first ever Pitmuck Auction!

January 23, 2015 By: Dreadlord Lestat Category: Chesapeake News

Pitmuck Auction

Pitmuck

January 23rd, 2015 8pm EST

Goblin Auction 1

Pit muck hosted it’s first ever goblin run auction Friday night. It was considered a success and enjoyed by all. Governor Vic II of Minoc posted the following results:

Number of lots: 20
Total Sold ?? (goblins can’t count)
Average ??
Largest Item: Pitmuck Pinworm Cure sold for 1 mill and a piece of licorice
Smallest Item: Coupon Book sold for 4 green toenails
Most fought over item: Goblin Playdoh sold for 15 invis pots
Most interesting item: Box of 38 bananas from Nu’Jelm sold for 89 zoogie fungus

Item – Amount 
Broken Statue – 5 ks
Finger Painting Set – 5 squishy turnips
Grow your own goblin kit – 2 pewter bowls, white pearl, pair of scissors
Bag of bad loot (35 scrolls) – 10 Zoogie Fungus
Box of 38 bananas from Jhelom – 89 Zoogie Fungus
Pitmuck Pinworm Cure – 1 mill and a piece of licorice
Room Deodorizer/Fart in a bottle – Tarot Cards
Coupon Book – 4 green toenails
30 Stories in a book – 1 ornithologist map, 1 bag of sending, 4 teleport scrolls
Goblin Play Doh – 15 invisibility pots
Two runes and a bag of sending – The word “boubala”
A pair of mittens and a handcuff for a one armed man – Scissors and partial spellbook
Bag of delightful treats – Mongbat and Boat
Damaged Poinsettia and 3 red leaves – 100 band aids
Spy ring, to spy on goblins – Hinge, Yeast, Arrow shaft
Mystery Bag – 100 Valorite Ingots and 1 big ruby
Goblin Chia Pet – Bamboo Flute and Magic Book
Dried Goblin Pee – 50 Garlic
Mystery Bag – 100 Valorite Ingots and 1 big ruby

 
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They sold an odd assortment of items and accepted even more bizarre payments.
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The auction was a success despite the typical goblinism that you would expect at a goblin auction. Goblins are not known for their education and ended up breaking a rare obsidian statue while fighting over it trying to read the label. Towards the end of the auction, goblinism struck again when one of them dropped a package containing a valuable poinsettia.
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When asked about future auctions, the goblins responded with a resounding “Me don knows!” If you run across a goblin auction, make sure you bring all the pocket lint, green toenail clippings, and and squishy turnips you can find!
Goblin Auction 5

Pitmuck Hosts Easter Egg Hunt!

April 19, 2014 By: Morpheus Category: Chesapeake News

   The Paxlair Alliance city of Pitmuck Island played host to a holiday treat this evening as players took part in an Easter Egg Hunt along the shores of the goblin retreat. Ozog Giantfart and his duo of pointy eared helpers Icky and Nubby turned a total of ten seekers out onto the lands in search of eggs, ducks, bunnies, and more!

 

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   The action was fast and furious as the hidden items were quickly sought out and bagged for return to the island’s “Lighthouse Mission.” Ozog and his companions were surprised how quickly those in attendance were able to wrangle up the hidden treasures!

 

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  Little did we know math was not our pointy eared friends strong suit as the trio struggled to amass the events finishing order. With encouraging words from the crowd, the lil ones at long last hashed out the finishing order as follows:

1st: Victor II (5m) 21 items found

2nd: Morpheus Mardox (3m) 20 items found

3rd: Siouxsie Sioux (3m) 17 items found

Ivy 14 items found

Niva 13 Items found

Fabala 9 items found

Ashlynn 4 items found

Nanoc 3 items found

Phoenix (Bag eaten by goblins…)

  After the festivities were over the evenings host requested everyone stay put as he had a pair of special guests to introduce! Elated, the crowd waited to see what they perhaps thought was a visit from the Big Bunny himself!  It was BIG alright but it was no bunny as the fabled Harbinger soon appeared for his share of souls on this easters eve.

 

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  The group battled, fought, died, and rallied taking it to the Harbinger twice with both victories claiming the famed conjurer’s garb.

 

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  Special thanks to the Pitmuck Island residents for a fine event for the holiday! Congratulations to all the winners and Happy Easter!