The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, Sixteenth Issue
October 18, 2013
Norman Bates crossed the Gallowine River into Sosaria disguised as an itinerate graverobber during the DOS Age. Dropping his heavy accent & old surname (Batesky) like a hot grenade, he set up toll booths on the highways, accosted the King’s Messengers and sent the Royal Family threatening & suggestive letters.
Lady Bingo!, handmaiden to the Princess Gladwrap, found the Princess’ collection of Norman’s more suggestive letters and became intrigued by his “fevered delusions” as she coyly opined. Being of helpful heart, Lady Bingo! set out one morning with Lord Protector Sir GaggingLance to save Norman’s immortal soul and to bring his body into civilized society. They found him under a nearby bridge toll booth singing lurid elf songs with guffawing trolls.
The good Lady prevailed upon Norman to accept a full pardon and jobs as Motel Keepers for he and his mother, at a salary highway men can only dream of, in exchange for which he reluctantly gave up his sordid outlaw ways.
Under the good Lady Bingo!’s guidance, Norman done good.
Tragic news came on a dark and stormy night when Norman reported Lady Bingo! had, “Disappeared in a shower.” Norman developed a stutter, became reclusive and today is seen only on rare occasions. Sometimes, he appears in a window of the Bates Motel with his wheel chair bound mother. If you wave, she will, with Norman’s assistance, wave back.
ONCE UPON A TIME
when Ultima was being created, Richard Garriott had a programmer who snuck Disney characters into the art work. When Garriott found out, he ordered them removed.
The programmer left one in though and you can today, in the caverns below Bucs Den, see Mickey Mouse giving the finger. (DeadBob has a rune to this spot, if you wish to see it for yourself.)
There is a Hall Of Players on Atlantic with exhibits naming over 350 UO players. The exhibits were donated to the Hall by the players themselves or by their friends. The roof is reserved for previous UO players, now deceased.
Visit the Atlantic Hall Of Players on the South Road out of Luna across from the Brigand Camp at 41N,24W.
Check it out.
Is anyone up for establishing a Hall Of Players on Siege Perilous?
The original UO tune, “Stones,” was written by the wife of one of Ultima’s programmers.
What was her name and where in our lands is her Memorial?
<drop your answer in our mailbox>
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Monthly Treasure Hunt is this Saturday at 3:PM EST. The coordinates of the Treasure Box will be revealed on general chat.
Up for grabs this time is a pair of Kelp Leggings. I will give you the coordinates of the box, but what facet it is on is up to you to figure out.
First one to the spot gets the prize, which will be in a blue wooden box placed at the spot.
– Ilexia of Waterfalls Bridge Shop
The Perilous Inquirer
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward; Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
| Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
Published by the ROFLTimes.com
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