The Perilous Inquirer
Vol 1, 52nd Issue
June 27, 2014
HOW DEADBOB MET LADY TANG
Sometime during the DOS Age, DeadBob crossed the Gallowine River into Sosaria disguised as an itinerant grave robber. Dropping his heavy accent and old surname like a hot grenade, he immediately set about setting up toll booths on the highways and bridges, accosting the King’s messengers and sending the Royal family threatening & suggestive letters.
It was during this phase of active communication with the Royal family that Lady Tang, Handmaiden to the Princess Gladwrap, came across the Princess’ collection of DeadBob’s more suggestive letters and became intrigued by his vivid imagination, or “Fevered delusions,” as she coyly opined. Being of helpful heart, Lady Tang set out one day with Lord Protector Sir GaggingLance to save DeadBob’s immortal soul and to bring his mortal body into civilized society. They found him under a nearby toll bridge singing lurid elf songs to guffawing trolls. The good Lady prevailed upon him to accept a full pardon and job as the editor of the Kingdom’s newspaper, the Sosarian Beagle, at a salary highway men can only dream of, in exchange for which he reluctantly gave up his sordid outlaw ways.
Under Lady Tang’s tutelage, DeadBob done good. He delved into indepth articles about the Nobles and set aside enough “unpublishable” material to assure a comfortable retirement on hefty blackmail payments.
EPILOGUE: Last Friday, DeadBob and Lady Tang celebrated their 18th year together, having first met online in 1994 while playing Sierra’s early multiplayer game, ImagiNation Network.
A YORK MOMENT
“I didn’t sleep well last night, so this morning I drank Monster energy drinks instead of coffee. I was on the freeway headed for work when I realized I forgot my car.”
THE PERILS OF KATTASROPHE
Part 2 of 3 Demoiselle en Détresse
“You are just too good!” sneered Mr Bill. “Always helping others, entertaining them by putting on events and plays and interviewing players for the newspaper and even giving away gold and things.
“Then why are you sneering at me?” Katt truly wondered.
“This is my smile,” he sneered. “And on top of everything else, you’re cheerful. Gah!!” And with that, he threw her into a big web and cast a scotch tape spell across her.
“Is this a proposal?” Katt asked, bewildered.
“See what I mean? You’re a forever optimist!”
“Then why am I here?”
“Because, my dear, you make me look bad. And my pets are hungry,” Mr Bill chortled. “You are so charitable, I’m sure you will enjoy feeding them.” He cast a summoning spell into the shadows and swarms of slavering arachnids swarmed towards the trapped Katt who squirmed and struggled against her gluey bonds.
“Oh noooo! Mr. Bill,” she cried!
Will Katt escape the web of the dastardly Mr. Bill? Don’t miss Part 3!
Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22
You will never again be able to live in peace due to the enduring and seductive power of your moose call.
All players are invited to the Annual PKrs BALL & Benefit to be held at 7 PM EST next Friday at the Perilous Inquirer.
Free Liquor will flow. Free Bandages will be soaked. Door Prizes will be Handed Out by the Door Prize Steward and a Drawing will be Held for a complete 52 Volume set of The Perilous Inquirer.
Benefit donations are strictly voluntary and may be placed in the mailbox. 100% of your donation will go to the Widows & Orphans of Alien Abductees.
Don’t miss this Signature Siege Event!
Ghost Hosted by DeadBob.
The Perilous Inquirer
Vol. 1, 52nd Issue
3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
News & Booze!
Free current issues are on the “News” steward.
Free named liquors are on the “Booze” steward.
Back copies are free on the shop named, “Siege Droppings.”
Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive
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